Salaams Aisha,
I'm sorry to hear about your mother. I have friends who suffer from Parkinson's: with her family's support and love, she will get through!
I'm the "resident Sufi" mentioned earlier. I'd say Islame's suggestion of reading the Qur'an in translation and speaking to this forum is good suggestion.
Most people address what they believe/don't believe, around the time they enter university, it's a good time for thinking these things over.
I believe myself to be an authority on the Qur'an and the sunnah of Prophecy (though anyone who dislikes Sufis would tend to disagree -- at least I can say the study of the Qur'an occupies a large portion of my days and has done for quite a while). In particular, I believe in Allah and the Qur'an -- but take a Sufi reading.
As such, I can tell you the following, from my perspective:
* It makes no difference to Allah if you wear hijab or not. I can't judge because I don't know you well enough -- but it might even be a bad thing (Islamically) to wear hijab at this point in your life.
* Allah wants you to date. Or, more specifically, Allah wants you to find love (because as a Sufi I believe Allah is love, the main way a human knows Allah is by first loving yourself -- and then finding other humans to love, and the most common way to do that, living in the 21st century in the West, is by dating). Of course, pick the right kind of people -- though making mistakes with people is also just part of maturing -- so don't worry if you make mistakes either. Please avoid bastards if you can, there are a few out there.
* More seriously, the Sufi does not pray to "ask" for things or to stop Allah from getting angry at them. That kind of Allah (one which grants wishes from prayers or who gets angry) is an illusion -- actually it is what we call taghut, false idolatry. To imagine such a God (beyond your childhood) can be potentially psychologically damaging: certainly full blown atheism is much healthier.
On the plus side, it means you never ought to worry about Allah getting angry with you ... and all bad things that happen are just part of life -- not a "supernatural" effect.
On the down side, it means you can't really "ask" God to make things better in your life. The purpose of prayer is simply to bring about Peace and Love in your mind/body/soul. But, done in the right kind of way, if you do feel peaceful, then that will have a knock-on effect to other parts of your life and the people you love around you (if you are peaceful, they will vibe off that and also feel peaceful, make those who are suffering from illness feel more physically/spiritually comfortable, etc).
Feel free to contact me here or via private email if you want some tips on Sufi reading material.
The Tailor of CEMB
Nice post TT. I think if I would ever go back to Islam (a chance of 1 in a zillion billions), I would become a Sufi of TT type.
Topic: Confused...