How much urine does shaitaan have?

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How much urine does shaitaan have?
OP - October 11, 2010, 06:35 PM

I found this post in the introduction section. And can't stop laughing

Quote from: STARSW on October 11, 2010, 07:06 AM
(like shaitan peeing in one ear if one does not wake up for fajr).

Anyways, here is the exact hadith

Quote
Saheeh Bukhari: Volume 4, Book 54, Number 492:

Narrated 'Abdullah:

It was mentioned before the Prophet that there was a man who slept the night till morning (after sunrise). The Prophet said, "He is a man in whose ears (or ear) Satan had urinated."

I know there are billions of people who don't wake up at fajr. Does Mr. Shaitaan go and pee on everyone's ears?
How much pee can shaitaan possibly have?

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Re: How much urine does shaitaan have?
Reply #1 - October 11, 2010, 06:36 PM

The official answer I received from a Muslim on this was "Yeah, but what IS urine?"

Some people are willing even to convince themselves that there is such a thing as "magic piss".

I don't come here any more due to unfair moderation.
http://www.councilofexmuslims.com/index.php?topic=30785
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Re: How much urine does shaitaan have?
Reply #2 - October 11, 2010, 06:40 PM

ROTFL @ their ignorance about not knowing what urine is.

By the way, I finally came to conclusion that majority of muslims in the world have never tried to rationally read the whole quran themselves. They are just blindly doing its rituals to avoid hellfire.

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Re: How much urine does shaitaan have?
Reply #3 - October 11, 2010, 06:47 PM

LOL
Rationaliza

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Re: How much urine does shaitaan have?
Reply #4 - October 12, 2010, 01:17 PM

So that's what R. Kelly was doing in that video. Poor girl was late for Fajr.
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Re: How much urine does shaitaan have?
Reply #5 - October 12, 2010, 01:25 PM

19:46 <zizo>: hugs could pimp u into sex

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Re: How much urine does shaitaan have?
Reply #6 - October 12, 2010, 01:39 PM

Quote from: TheRationalizer on October 11, 2010, 06:36 PM
The official answer I received from a Muslim on this was "Yeah, but what IS urine?"

Some people are willing even to convince themselves that there is such a thing as "magic piss".

if allah is capable of making shitan, then he is capable of giving him a huge bladder

[13:36] <Fimbles> anything above 7 inches
[13:37] <Fimbles> is wacko
[13:37] <Fimbles> see
[13:37] <Fimbles> you think i'd enjoy anything above 7 inches up my arse?
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Re: How much urine does shaitaan have?
Reply #7 - October 12, 2010, 02:07 PM

By the way I also found out that shaitaan pee's in your mouth if you yawn. Also excrete on your head if you don't wear topi. (Anyways, last one I think is exaggeration.)

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Re: How much urine does shaitaan have?
Reply #8 - October 12, 2010, 09:38 PM

makes me feel so stupid that i believed this shit for so long.

what the fuck was i thinkin???

All I know is that the universe is a beautiful & complicated place. I think we are beautiful beings. Everyday I find something to marval at. I just hope I don't get burned in eternal torment because I miscalculated the truth level of a 7th Century camel salesman's feverish rantings. ~ BlackDog
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Re: How much urine does shaitaan have?
Reply #9 - October 13, 2010, 12:00 AM

i always have problem waking up for fajr prayer, that's the time i sleep like a log

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Re: How much urine does shaitaan have?
Reply #10 - October 13, 2010, 02:31 AM

Quote from: Dr@gon Sl@yer on October 12, 2010, 09:38 PM
makes me feel so stupid that i believed this shit for so long.

what the fuck was i thinkin???

We are in the same boat... But this hadith is way too hilarious. No I would alway remember that and if I ever get second thoughts about my decision, I would look that up again and laugh hard..

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Re: How much urine does shaitaan have?
Reply #11 - October 13, 2010, 02:37 AM

You guys would also enjoy this one. By the way before watching this one, you need to know if you never knew, the literal meaning of the word Nikah is Fuck. (But muslims think that it means marriage. Anyways, it is used for both, in different places in koran.)

http://www.muhammadtube.com/videos/2205/satan-had-sex-with-himself-and-lay-eggs-muhammad-said

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Re: How much urine does shaitaan have?
Reply #12 - October 13, 2010, 02:38 AM

Quote from: Dr@gon Sl@yer on October 12, 2010, 09:38 PM
makes me feel so stupid that i believed this shit for so long.

what the fuck was i thinkin???

Well that is all very good but now tell us How many times did you miss prayers due to sleep and how many liters of piss did Satan put in to your ears??

Do not let silence become your legacy.. Question everything
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the beloved betrayed me and turned in to a Muslim
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Re: How much urine does shaitaan have?
Reply #13 - October 13, 2010, 02:42 AM

No offence dude , but i really hate the narrator he is a Christian Arab i assume and he deliberately try to mis-define some Arabic words.
Not sure if he is doing that in this video, but he has done it before, (I wouldn't trust him).

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Re: How much urine does shaitaan have?
Reply #14 - October 13, 2010, 02:48 AM

Quote from: tabun on October 13, 2010, 02:42 AM
No offence dude , but i really hate the narrator he is a Christian Arab i assume and he deliberately try to mis-define some Arabic words.
Not sure if he is doing that in this video, but he has done it before, (I wouldn't trust him).

i agree with you tabun but I like this

5mg is enough to show me Allah heaven with wide eyed houries.. But did you know this??

You know you are a Muslim.. if Your father is married to somebody else besides your mother... and when you are addicted to maniac Muslim.. http://maniacmuslim.com/forums/index.php?/topic/4855-you-know-youre-a-muslim-when/

and why don't we put a real link on that hadith of "satan peeing in years" here
Quote
http://www.usc.edu/schools/college/crcc/engagement/resources/texts/muslim/hadith/bukhari/021.sbt.html#002.021.245

Volume 2, Book 21, Number 245:

Narrated 'Abdullah :

A person was mentioned before the Prophet (p.b.u.h) and he was told that he had kept on sleeping till morning and had not got up for the prayer. The Prophet said, "Satan urinated in his ears."

with best wishes
yeezevee

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Re: How much urine does shaitaan have?
Reply #15 - October 13, 2010, 03:26 AM

oh damn so thats how people get infection in their ears !!!

well they deserve it for not waking up for fajir

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Re: How much urine does shaitaan have?
Reply #16 - October 13, 2010, 03:29 AM

Quote from: TheRationalizer on October 11, 2010, 06:36 PM
"Yeah, but what IS urine?"

EXACTLY

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In somebody else's sky, but why, why, why
Can't it be, can't it be mine

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Re: How much urine does shaitaan have?
Reply #17 - October 13, 2010, 05:22 AM

Shaitan must drink a lot of water to be able to pee in 5 billion people's ears.
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Re: How much urine does shaitaan have?
Reply #18 - October 13, 2010, 06:24 AM

It doesn't do the ex-muslim movement much credit when you take something that is obviously symbolic and mock it as if it were literal. Islam is wrong, sure, but there is no need to be unfair just to get a cheap laugh.

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Re: How much urine does shaitaan have?
Reply #19 - October 13, 2010, 06:49 AM

But even at a symbolic level it’s ludicrous. And there is no ex-muslim movement, at least not for me. I want to make that official now I am not part of any movement. I'm just here to take the piss.

On a more serious note, think about it. This is a Prophet. A leader of men and beast alike. Of all the metaphors he could have chosen. One might say he was adapting to the ignorance and understanding of his people but this is a condescending notion. For a land with poets this is the best he could do for them? And why on earth would all the people be so ignorant, what is the factual basis for that argument?

So at the end of the day literal or metaphorical it is an absolute joke worth laughing at and poking fingers at. For a lot of people here Islam has caused a lot of misery and heartbreak, people are still recovering. It's a relief to be able to laugh at it. I to an extent laugh at my past self as well when I'm poking fun at Islam.

Satan pisses in your ear. Come on! It's not even something I would tell a 5 year old, it's vulgar and unimaginative. More likely something I would say to a bunch of friends in an inebriated condition. Like I don’t know “I’ll shit on you and piss in your mama's purse”.
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Re: How much urine does shaitaan have?
Reply #20 - October 13, 2010, 07:10 AM

Quote from: z10 on October 13, 2010, 06:24 AM
It doesn't do the ex-muslim movement much credit when you take something that is obviously symbolic and mock it as if it were literal. Islam is wrong, sure, but there is no need to be unfair just to get a cheap laugh.

Obviously symbolic to you, but I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of people thought it was literally true. People believe all sorts of crazy things are literally true so I can't see why this would be an exception. I also can't see why it wouldn't have been intended literally when it was first said.

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Re: How much urine does shaitaan have?
Reply #21 - October 13, 2010, 07:17 AM

Yes, it is true that muslims take Satan literally but that does not mean they take him literally in a rational sense. They take him literally in a dogmatic sense, he is part of a complete system that doesn't stand on any rational proof, either every symbol within it is all true or all false, that is the nature of the beast when you have a totalitarian world-view.
The point being, once you have rejected the whole world view, what is the point in picking out particulars and laughing at them? The particular stands with the rest and falls with the rest - it has no justification standing alone and so has no need of defending itself alone. To attack Islam in particulars is to miss the point.

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Re: How much urine does shaitaan have?
Reply #22 - October 13, 2010, 07:23 AM

Quote from: BlackDog on October 13, 2010, 06:49 AM
But even at a symbolic level it’s ludicrous.

Sure, I think I wasn't being clear enough. I know it's ridiculous and I know it makes one want to laugh. However, you can't go from stating a). this aspect of Islam is laughable to b). Islam is laughable because that would be mistaking Islam for a rational system. It isn't rational and you can't rationally criticise it.

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Re: How much urine does shaitaan have?
Reply #23 - October 13, 2010, 07:49 AM

Quote from: z10 on October 13, 2010, 07:17 AM
Yes, it is true that muslims take Satan literally but that does not mean they take him literally in a rational sense. They take him literally in a dogmatic sense, he is part of a complete system that doesn't stand on any rational proof, either every symbol within it is all true or all false, that is the nature of the beast when you have a totalitarian world-view.

Yes I understand that. It's much the same with any literalist belief system. Fundy Christians and Jew have similar mindsets.

What I meant though is that they believe Shaitan is a real entity and they would have no trouble believing he has a supernatural bladder of infinite capacity that produces urine in another dimension on demand. So in that sense they would not have any trouble believing that he literally pisses in people's ears. In other words, they would not regard it as symbolic at all.

Quote
The point being, once you have rejected the whole world view, what is the point in picking out particulars and laughing at them? The particular stands with the rest and falls with the rest - it has no justification standing alone and so has no need of defending itself alone. To attack Islam in particulars is to miss the point.

Not really, because the particulars can make people think about their positions.

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Re: How much urine does shaitaan have?
Reply #24 - October 13, 2010, 07:58 AM

Quote from: z10 on October 13, 2010, 07:17 AM
Yes, it is true that muslims take Satan literally but that does not mean they take him literally in a rational sense. They take him literally in a dogmatic sense, he is part of a complete system that doesn't stand on any rational proof, either every symbol within it is all true or all false, that is the nature of the beast when you have a totalitarian world-view.
The point being, once you have rejected the whole world view, what is the point in picking out particulars and laughing at them? The particular stands with the rest and falls with the rest - it has no justification standing alone and so has no need of defending itself alone. To attack Islam in particulars is to miss the point.

Of course he is literal in a rational sense. Angels do exist. And so does Shaitan. And I guess so does his urine. How can it be symbolic and be literal at the same time?
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Re: How much urine does shaitaan have?
Reply #25 - October 13, 2010, 11:39 AM

@z10

of all the 'piss' taking on this site , this is what u pull pll up on?

did u know that when umar became muslim he used to laugh at the things he did as a mushrik?
well if its good enuff for umar its gotta be good enuff for us ....

what do u mean by u cant rationally critise islam ... what other sort of critisism is valid?
i think i may have missed ur point.

All I know is that the universe is a beautiful & complicated place. I think we are beautiful beings. Everyday I find something to marval at. I just hope I don't get burned in eternal torment because I miscalculated the truth level of a 7th Century camel salesman's feverish rantings. ~ BlackDog
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Re: How much urine does shaitaan have?
Reply #26 - October 13, 2010, 11:48 AM

DS please give exampels of Umar.
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Re: How much urine does shaitaan have?
Reply #27 - October 13, 2010, 12:02 PM

there is an athar about Umar and his mushrik mates goin on a journey, they made a god from dates to protect them. on the wway they got hungry so they ate on of the arms arguin that the god dont need the arms! later they got hungry again and ate the other arm, this continued untill onyl the head was left. i know its not particularly funny but this was Umar.

also sahabah used to get together in masjid umar and laugh bout old days until mo came and told em if u knew what i know u wud laugh little and cry alot. the spoil sport

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Re: How much urine does shaitaan have?
Reply #28 - October 13, 2010, 05:11 PM

Quote
I know there are billions of people who don't wake up at fajr. Does Mr. Shaitaan go and pee on everyone's ears?
How much pee can shaitaan possibly have?

Before I would have considered to understand this as metaphor (what a poetical metaphor anyway) like one had become deaf to the call of Allah or to his alarm-clock but as I was always reminded that hadiths and Koran have to be understood literally it really "pissed me off" Islam.

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Re: How much urine does shaitaan have?
Reply #29 - October 13, 2010, 05:18 PM

Quote
By the way before watching this one, you need to know if you never knew, the literal meaning of the word Nikah is Fuck. (But muslims think that it means marriage.

Nikah!!?? is to make the fuck hallal
Muslims can do the nikah first and have hallal sex then they can do their marriage reception later.

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