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Theme Changer

 Topic: So...here it goes....I'm abz from Oz...how ya goin'?

 (Read 13460 times)
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  • So...here it goes....I'm abz from Oz...how ya goin'?
     OP - July 15, 2010, 05:08 AM

    Hi all, been a bit of a lurker but I've decided now I'm on my uni mid-year break and exams are over I might as well say g'day.

    I'm an ex-muslim (wow...still feels a bit strange saying/typing that!) and I can't begin to tell you how much it means to me to have a forum like this with people I can relate to.

    I don't know a single ex-muslim (although I do suspect one or two) and so it does get me down every now and again....I feel a sense of being out in the cold, not having a sense of belonging....and I haven't even come out to anyone yet.

    Been reading a few bio's and it's given me alot of heart to see others...I see alot of myself in what I've been reading.

    Good to meet you all!

  • Re: So...here it goes....I'm abz from Oz...how ya goin'?
     Reply #1 - July 15, 2010, 05:12 AM

    Welcome abz from Oz Smiley

    "Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused."
  • Re: So...here it goes....I'm abz from Oz...how ya goin'?
     Reply #2 - July 15, 2010, 05:17 AM

    Hey you can't say that. I'm Oz. You're Allat. Get it right. Tongue

    Err, yeah. Welcome abz from Oz.  bunny

    Devious, treacherous, murderous, neanderthal, sub-human of the West. bunny
  • Re: So...here it goes....I'm abz from Oz...how ya goin'?
     Reply #3 - July 15, 2010, 05:19 AM

    Hey there abz, welcome! Glad you found us Smiley

    Howdid you find us, anyway?

    The only thing we have to fear is fear itself
    - 32nd United States President Franklin D. Roosevelt
  • Re: So...here it goes....I'm abz from Oz...how ya goin'?
     Reply #4 - July 15, 2010, 05:20 AM

    Hey you can't say that. I'm Oz. You're Allat. Get it right. Tongue


    Whatevs OzMan...... I just want to follow the yellow brick road - to the poppy fields Wink

    "Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused."
  • Re: So...here it goes....I'm abz from Oz...how ya goin'?
     Reply #5 - July 15, 2010, 05:35 AM

    Thanks all!  Smiley

    Luthiel, found this place after a bit of search. I just thought...there's a forum for just about anything and that there would be a forum for ex-muslims, surely? Happened fairly quickly after that; google search->here I am. dance

    Will get into the story if anyone's interested! Smiley
  • Re: So...here it goes....I'm abz from Oz...how ya goin'?
     Reply #6 - July 15, 2010, 05:42 AM

    let me divin it for you
    save you the embarrassment

     Crystal Ball

    you were caught masturbating
    your parents said it wasn't allah's way
    but you thought, why would he make it feel so damned good
    and poof, you lost faith
    oh, it's under the bed, next to the hustler
    make the right choice

    I love the smiley booklet

    Sex booze and rock&roll
    you know
    the finer things in life
  • Re: So...here it goes....I'm abz from Oz...how ya goin'?
     Reply #7 - July 15, 2010, 05:46 AM

    Astaghfirullah! Cheesy 
  • Re: So...here it goes....I'm abz from Oz...how ya goin'?
     Reply #8 - July 15, 2010, 05:48 AM

    Yep, get into the story if you feel like it. As much or as little as you're comfortable with. Smiley

    Incidentally I'm from Australia myself. Not ex-Muslim though. They just hired me to clean the toilets. Luthiel and Allat are feelthy murtadeen though.  parrot

    Devious, treacherous, murderous, neanderthal, sub-human of the West. bunny
  • Re: So...here it goes....I'm abz from Oz...how ya goin'?
     Reply #9 - July 15, 2010, 06:23 AM

    Righto. Just a quick run-down of my journey so far.

    Born to Ethiopian refugee parents whilst living in a refugee camp in Djibouti, in the horn of Africa.

    Come here to Australia at aged 10, got used to things in Australia fairly quickly (language, culture, etc) me being a kid and all.

    Now, my oldies always considered themselves the educated, liberal type and we were more muslim in the traditional sense back in the camp, as were most of our family friends - it's the same in Ethiopia really, although our somali neighbours were a bit full-on with it.

    So we come here and associate quickly with the Ethiopian communit(ies) and notice, over the years, there's a tightening of moral codes, an increase in 'judgement' (sorry, 'advice') and that sort of thing. My mother in particular (bless her) gets absolutely caught up in that sort of trend and makes some very religious friends which rubs off quite nicely on her. Having been born into an Ethio Orthodox xtian family, she felt the need to 'catch up' and 'perfect her deen' and all that.

    My old man, having been born into a muslim family in Ethiopia, is more a 'casual' muslim in that it's more of an identity akin to his ethnic group or nationality. The type that is under the impression they, having been raised muslim, know all they need to know - thus without the need to really delve into much more scriptual 'learning' and thus no real insistence on dogma and preaching.

    My mum and my older sis were always quite close but grew apart as my mum got caught up in the religious stuff, stopped her from going out, enjoying life. It got to a point where she got kicked out of the house because she was seen out with a guy. Looking back, this would've been a good place to start the questions re Islam.

    Anyway, the questions really started last ramadan. Meeting up with my uni's Islamic student org for Iftar & prayers - meeting and chatting with students (mainly middle east & pakistan)  really got me thinking. I don't relate to their views....on, like, anything.

    I put it down to their 'ignorance' and 'culture' and upbringing. Anything but Islam or it's teachings.

    I went home each night reading as much Quran & Hadith (Bukhari & Muslim) as I could, so I could take some notes with me the next time I discussed the deen with these folks. My younger bro, reading along with me, brings to my attention certain ahadith re slavery....it all went downhill from there folks. Couldn't make sense of what I was reading or how that fit in with my own sense of right and wrong.

    My younger bro (who I suspect is an ex-muslim already although I can't find a way to broach the subject without giving myself away) requests we have a squiz at the Islamic Q&A on the different topics of query. The answers, we found, just weren't good enough. Allah always seemed to 'know best' but oddly enough always had an issue with the tougher questions.

    Younger bro: "Look, if Muhammad (pbuh) was wrong on this, this whole thing (religion) is bullshit"

    Me: "Hang on...I'll ask a sheikh"

    That's where it ended, or so I thought.

    He goes on to bring it up to my super-religious mum who then goes apeshit at me for corrupting his mind and emboldening his nafs...she's like "It came from Allah, the one who created you. Who are you to ask these questions".

    I remember feeling sick in the guts at what I was hearing her say....I decided right there and then I wasn't a muslim.

    I knew I'd been sold a dud and felt fecking pissed off to be honest....still do.

    So there you have it folks.  cool2   
  • Re: So...here it goes....I'm abz from Oz...how ya goin'?
     Reply #10 - July 15, 2010, 06:28 AM

    Welcome Abz.   Smiley

    "Befriend them not, Oh murtads, and give them neither parrot nor bunny."  - happymurtad's advice on trolls.
  • Re: So...here it goes....I'm abz from Oz...how ya goin'?
     Reply #11 - July 15, 2010, 06:30 AM

    Great story  Afro

    Take it slow. No need to make trouble with your folks. You're still young.
  • Re: So...here it goes....I'm abz from Oz...how ya goin'?
     Reply #12 - July 15, 2010, 06:48 AM

    To be fair, I didn't intend for her to know about any of those discussions my bro & I were having. He just couldn't keep his damn opinions to himself.  Smiley

    I reassured her she was right, she went and got some abdullah hakim quick lecture DVD's for us all to watch and all was well.

    It's cool, nobody knows I've given into my nafs.....and my brain.
  • Re: So...here it goes....I'm abz from Oz...how ya goin'?
     Reply #13 - July 15, 2010, 06:49 AM

    Hey man welcome Smiley
  • Re: So...here it goes....I'm abz from Oz...how ya goin'?
     Reply #14 - July 15, 2010, 06:52 AM

    remember to masturbate daily
    you'll keep your sanity

    Sex booze and rock&roll
    you know
    the finer things in life
  • Re: So...here it goes....I'm abz from Oz...how ya goin'?
     Reply #15 - July 15, 2010, 08:12 AM

    An interesting story, thanks for sharing!


    My younger bro (who I suspect is an ex-muslim already although I can't find a way to broach the subject without giving myself away)

    Younger bro: "Look, if Muhammad (pbuh) was wrong on this, this whole thing (religion) is bullshit"


    Yep, I suspect he is too Smiley

    I would say

    You: You know you said that if Muhammad was wrong in (this) then the whole thing (Islam) is bullshit?
    Him: Yes?
    You: Do you still stand by that?
    Him: Yes?
    You: I think he was wrong on it, do you?
    Him: Yes
    You: So does that mean that we both agree it is all bullshit?

    I structured the last question so that it has a shared "blame".  You are hinting that if he thinks it is bullshit then you agree with him, but also so that if he says "No" it could mean that neither of you think it is bullshit.

    I don't know your family life so I am not telling you what to do, just telling you how I would word it myself Smiley

    I knew I'd been sold a dud and felt fecking pissed off to be honest....still do.


    I once heard a great story.  Some guy was a student at university learning biology.  The student accepted some theory of molecular evolution which the professor outright refused to accept, he kept saying it was impossible for something or other to happen.  Then one day a molecular biologist was on campus doing talks about molecular biology and the subject came up.  He recognised the gaps in the professor's knowledge and filled him in.  Was the professor pissed off that he had been wrong all those years?  No!  He said (paraphrased)

    "Thankyou so much!  I have been wrong all these years, and now I don't have to continue being wrong!"

    I don't come here any more due to unfair moderation.
    http://www.councilofexmuslims.com/index.php?topic=30785
  • Re: So...here it goes....I'm abz from Oz...how ya goin'?
     Reply #16 - July 15, 2010, 08:27 AM

    That's a famous one. Source is one of Dawkins' speeches.

    Quote
    A formative influence on my undergraduate self was the response of a respected elder statesmen of the Oxford Zoology Department when an American visitor had just publicly disproved his favourite theory. The old man strode to the front of the lecture hall, shook the American warmly by the hand and declared in ringing, emotional tones: "My dear fellow, I wish to thank you. I have been wrong these fifteen years."

     

    http://www.edge.org/documents/archive/edge1.html

    Devious, treacherous, murderous, neanderthal, sub-human of the West. bunny
  • Re: So...here it goes....I'm abz from Oz...how ya goin'?
     Reply #17 - July 15, 2010, 08:31 AM

    Righto. Just a quick run-down of my journey so far.

    Born to Ethiopian refugee parents whilst living in a refugee camp in Djibouti, in the horn of Africa.


    Yay! Another one from Horn of Africa. I'm not alone Smiley

    I love you already!  far away hug
    Welcome to the forums

    Blind faith is an ironic gift to return to the Creator of human intelligence

  • Re: So...here it goes....I'm abz from Oz...how ya goin'?
     Reply #18 - July 15, 2010, 08:35 AM

    Welcome abz Smiley
  • Re: So...here it goes....I'm abz from Oz...how ya goin'?
     Reply #19 - July 15, 2010, 08:44 AM

    welcome

    love this saying "I knew I'd been sold a dud" haven't heard it in a while Smiley but perfectly sums up the penny dropping

    If you ask me to define anything i will slap you with my pimp hand and make you cry like a biatch.

    Nick Naylor: "I didn't have to. I proved that you're wrong, and if you're wrong I'm right."~ Thank you for Smoking

    Perspective
  • Re: So...here it goes....I'm abz from Oz...how ya goin'?
     Reply #20 - July 15, 2010, 08:52 AM

    I'm trying to say hello to you new guy, but the avatar straight above me keeps distracting me with those awesome bouncing

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: So...here it goes....I'm abz from Oz...how ya goin'?
     Reply #21 - July 15, 2010, 09:03 AM

    hey welcome abz!! so what are you studying at your uni ?

    Nothing can be more contrary to religion and the clergy than reason and common sense. - Voltaire
  • Re: So...here it goes....I'm abz from Oz...how ya goin'?
     Reply #22 - July 15, 2010, 09:38 AM

    Welcome abz

    The unlived life is not worth examining.
  • Re: So...here it goes....I'm abz from Oz...how ya goin'?
     Reply #23 - July 15, 2010, 09:45 AM

    Welcome Abz and thanks for sharing your story with us. Smiley

    Look forward to hearing more from you!  bunny

    'The greatest glory of living lies not in never falling but in rising everytime you fall'
  • Re: So...here it goes....I'm abz from Oz...how ya goin'?
     Reply #24 - July 15, 2010, 10:58 AM

    allat, osmanthus, Luthiel, Cheetah, Iraqi Atheist, TheRationalizer, Meredith, Hassan, Mr X, BerberElla, canex, J4m3z, Pariah....thank you!! thnkyu

    What I wouldn't give, to have a supportive group of ex-muslims like this in the flesh.

    Quote from: TheRationalizer
    I structured the last question so that it has a shared "blame".  You are hinting that if he thinks it is bullshit then you agree with him, but also so that if he says "No" it could mean that neither of you think it is bullshit.

    I don't know your family life so I am not telling you what to do, just telling you how I would word it myself


    That's probably fair enough, might make a go of it sometime. Got to find the right time though. I'll be sure to post the resulting convo up here when/if that does happen.

    Re the Dawkins story, well worth taking on board. No shame in coming to our senses and gracefully acknowledging it....it's more the lingering sense of being estranged from those that have always been close to me....I don't know if I'll ever get over that. This place goes some way towards helping me deal with it though. Wink

    Quote from: Meredith
    Yay! Another one from Horn of Africa. I'm not alone


    W00t! dance Awesome! Which country? Smiley

    Quote from: BerberElla
    I'm trying to say hello to you new guy, but the avatar straight above me keeps distracting me with those awesome bouncing


    Well your avatar's got me feeling slightly....erm...peckish, I must say. Afro

    Quote
    hey welcome abz!! so what are you studying at your uni ?


    Thanks! Doing a double degree Accounting/Finance.

  • Re: So...here it goes....I'm abz from Oz...how ya goin'?
     Reply #25 - July 15, 2010, 11:20 AM

    How many of you have managed to come out to friends/family as ex-muslims? If not...do you forsee that ever happening? If so, when?

  • Re: So...here it goes....I'm abz from Oz...how ya goin'?
     Reply #26 - July 15, 2010, 11:29 AM

    My friends know that I'm an ex-muslim now but I doubt I'd ever tell my family, I don't really intend to go down that route.  It'll cause too many problems and heartache.  Although at times I am very tempted to come out to my siblings, especially when they go all religious on me and won't stop with their 'naseeha'. 

    I do, however, want to appear more and more unislamic to them and that work is currently in progress.  The day I can openly take off hijab in front of them, I'll feel extremely relieved. 

    How about you?  Smiley

    'The greatest glory of living lies not in never falling but in rising everytime you fall'
  • Re: So...here it goes....I'm abz from Oz...how ya goin'?
     Reply #27 - July 15, 2010, 11:40 AM

    I've told a small group of uni friends but none that actually know any family members....none of them muslim though. I haven't told a single muslim friend (uni or otherwise) that I've left islam behind me, I just fear the reaction. Like a jilted lover is my guess.

    Tell my family? Cheesy Like fuck I would. Maybe if I were living on the other side of the world. That way I wouldn't have to look on, as my mum's heart shatters...and I'd be dead to the memory of the remainder of my family. I can't deal with that to be honest, it's hard enough to contemplate.

     

  • Re: So...here it goes....I'm abz from Oz...how ya goin'?
     Reply #28 - July 15, 2010, 12:07 PM

    Welcome to the forum, abz.  hugs

    What a great forum this is!  I too have never met any ex-Muslims in real life.

    By the way, I was born in Kenya and there are a lot of Somalis in my city here in the UK, although I am not Somali myself.  Smiley


    They just hired me to clean the toilets. Luthiel and Allat are feelthy murtadeen though.  parrot

    That was freaking hilarious Oz. Cheesy


    He recognised the gaps in the professor's knowledge and filled him in.  Was the professor pissed off that he had been wrong all those years?  No!  He said (paraphrased)

    "Thankyou so much!  I have been wrong all these years, and now I don't have to continue being wrong!"

    That sums up my undogmatic nature too.. on every issue.  Afro
    I'd rather accept the truth than continue to delude myself.

    To Thine Own Self Be True. Afro

    "Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so." -- Bertrand Russell

    Baloney Detection Kit
  • Re: So...here it goes....I'm abz from Oz...how ya goin'?
     Reply #29 - July 15, 2010, 12:20 PM

    Thanks all!  Smiley

    Luthiel, found this place after a bit of search. I just thought...there's a forum for just about anything and that there would be a forum for ex-muslims, surely? Happened fairly quickly after that; google search->here I am. dance

    Will get into the story if anyone's interested! Smiley

    yes time to get into the story.

    Did you use the search term ex-muslim or something else?

    My Book     news002       
    My Blog  pccoffee
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