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 Topic: To smack kids or not to smack..........

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  • Re: To smack kids or not to smack..........
     Reply #150 - July 04, 2009, 12:15 PM
    Quote from: IsLame on July 04, 2009, 10:39 AM
    I dont know many who were never smacked as kids.  We can do a post here amongst UK born adults if you still arent sure?  Do you think kids in Sweden (where there is a ban) are worse than pakistani kids where they are spanked all the time?


    I have a slight feeling the majority of us will be from ethnic backgrounds and the majority of UK are White. May not be representative
    Blind faith is an ironic gift to return to the Creator of human intelligence

  • Re: To smack kids or not to smack..........
     Reply #151 - July 04, 2009, 12:35 PM
    I don't know about smacking but anyone who thinks spanking is child abuse is fucked in the head. There are very loving and nurturing parents out there who will occasionally spank their kids as a form of discipline. I'm not saying it's effective-- maybe they'd be better off not spanking their kids, and it's probably better to err on the side of no spanking, but it's definitely not child abuse.
    fuck you
  • Re: To smack kids or not to smack..........
     Reply #152 - July 04, 2009, 12:38 PM
    Quote from: BerberElla on July 04, 2009, 10:49 AM
    I was battered, the angry street teenager it turned me into shows that violence doesn't stop bad behaviour.


    All due respect Berbs (pbuh), but what you went through exceeded spanking or even a light smack to the head.
    fuck you
  • Re: To smack kids or not to smack..........
     Reply #153 - July 04, 2009, 06:59 PM
    Quote from: aliadiere
    I mean a light smack very occasionally. I was smacked occasionally and it has done me no harm.

    I hate saying this, but maybe you justify these "occasional smacks" precisely because your parents smacked you? In most cases, the smack is not "very light," and doesn't land "very occasionally" either. You may have been "smacked occasionally" and maybe indeed it has done you "no harm" but other children (and parents) are not necessarily the same. Children are human beings, not squeezing toys for irresponsible and lazy parents who can think up no better way to discipline their children.
    Islam: where idiots meet terrorists.
  • Re: To smack kids or not to smack..........
     Reply #154 - July 04, 2009, 08:44 PM
    Quote from: Q-Man on July 04, 2009, 12:35 PM
    I don't know about smacking but anyone who thinks spanking is child abuse is fucked in the head. There are very loving and nurturing parents out there who will occasionally spank their kids as a form of discipline. I'm not saying it's effective-- maybe they'd be better off not spanking their kids, and it's probably better to err on the side of no spanking, but it's definitely not child abuse.

    agreed, but you are veering off the point.  Smacking is bullying.  Full Stop.
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  • Re: To smack kids or not to smack..........
     Reply #155 - July 04, 2009, 08:46 PM
    Quote from: Meredith on July 04, 2009, 12:15 PM
    I have a slight feeling the majority of us will be from ethnic backgrounds and the majority of UK are White. May not be representative

    Agreed but that is the best we can do. So how can we test your theory, that people who are raised after being smacked are better than those who werent?
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  • Re: To smack kids or not to smack..........
     Reply #156 - July 04, 2009, 08:47 PM
    Quote from: Zaephon on July 04, 2009, 06:59 PM
    I hate saying this, but maybe you justify these "occasional smacks" precisely because your parents smacked you? In most cases, the smack is not "very light," and doesn't land "very occasionally" either. You may have been "smacked occasionally" and maybe indeed it has done you "no harm" but other children (and parents) are not necessarily the same. Children are human beings, not squeezing toys for irresponsible and lazy parents who can think up no better way to discipline their children.

    Smacking is just another meme, I'm ok after a few beats, so it must be good  Roll Eyes
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  • Re: To smack kids or not to smack..........
     Reply #157 - July 05, 2009, 05:40 AM
    Quote from: Zaephon on July 04, 2009, 06:59 PM
    I hate saying this, but maybe you justify these "occasional smacks" precisely because your parents smacked you? In most cases, the smack is not "very light," and doesn't land "very occasionally" either. You may have been "smacked occasionally" and maybe indeed it has done you "no harm" but other children (and parents) are not necessarily the same. Children are human beings, not squeezing toys for irresponsible and lazy parents who can think up no better way to discipline their children.


    If you had read my posts properly, you would have noticed that I said there was no harm in a smack here and there, but there is a fine line. How do you judge where that fine line is? How do you judge where a harmless smack stops and where a beating starts? That is, where I think where the problem lies. Its not simply a matter of not hitting a child at all ever, and beating the shit out of a child.

    Religion - The hot potato that looked delicious but ended up burning your mouth!

    Knock your head on the ground, don't be miserly in your prayers, listen to your Sidi Sheikh, Allahu Akbar! - Lounes Matoub
  • Re: To smack kids or not to smack..........
     Reply #158 - July 05, 2009, 07:28 AM
    Quote from: aliadiere on July 05, 2009, 05:40 AM
    If you had read my posts properly, you would have noticed that I said there was no harm in a smack here and there.

    I did, you thought smacking was fine?
    Quote
    but there is a fine line

    Not really, its easy.  As soon as you are physically intimidating a minor, you've crossed it.

    Also what do you do when this light spanking (with a feather if you want) doesnt work?
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  • Re: To smack kids or not to smack..........
     Reply #159 - July 05, 2009, 09:18 AM
    Quote from: IsLame on July 05, 2009, 07:28 AM
    Also what do you do when this light spanking (with a feather if you want) doesnt work?


    What would I do when light spanking doesn't work? That suggests that I think that smacking is the only way to discipline a child. Smacking is just one option which can be used, but shouldn't be used all the time and shouldn't be used excessively.
    Religion - The hot potato that looked delicious but ended up burning your mouth!

    Knock your head on the ground, don't be miserly in your prayers, listen to your Sidi Sheikh, Allahu Akbar! - Lounes Matoub
  • Re: To smack kids or not to smack..........
     Reply #160 - July 05, 2009, 09:31 AM
    Quote from: aliadiere on July 05, 2009, 09:18 AM
    What would I do when light spanking doesn't work? That suggests that I think that smacking is the only way to discipline a child.

    No it doesnt, and that was not assuming that I thought you would only ever spank a child?  I assume its not your ideal or a first method of punishment, and probably the last.  So I asked a question about what you do when on the odd occasion it still doesnt work and you lose your rag, hit them harder?  If its as light as you would like to claim, then I wonder if it is going to make that much difference in their behaviour, yet still not providing a great example in the long run.  
    Quote
    Smacking is just one option which can be used, but shouldn't be used all the time and shouldn't be used excessively.

    So why bother at all?
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  • Re: To smack kids or not to smack..........
     Reply #161 - July 05, 2009, 09:41 AM
    As I said, I don't have any kids so I am not speaking from experience and I wouldn't know what i would do in a real situation. But saying that, a smack isn't the last think I would do, it is an option. If that didn't work, you would try something else.

    Quote from: IsLame on July 05, 2009, 09:31 AM
    So why bother at all?


    It is an option that might work in certain situations.
    Religion - The hot potato that looked delicious but ended up burning your mouth!

    Knock your head on the ground, don't be miserly in your prayers, listen to your Sidi Sheikh, Allahu Akbar! - Lounes Matoub
  • Re: To smack kids or not to smack..........
     Reply #162 - July 05, 2009, 10:52 AM
    Quote from: aliadiere on July 05, 2009, 09:41 AM
    As I said, I don't have any kids so I am not speaking from experience and I wouldn't know what i would do in a real situation.

     
    If you think it is OK to smack kids, then believe me you will
    Quote
    But saying that, a smack isn't the last think I would do, it is an option. If that didn't work, you would try something else.

     
    How about hitting them harder?  It might work too
    Quote
    It is an option that might work in certain situations.

    Shame you are not prepared to accept that other solutions might be more effective and more worthwhile.
    I just hope it doesnt become an established pattern of behaviour that you turn to whenever you are at a loss as to what to do or whenever you lose your rag, and your child winces when he sense its about to happen... again.  Nor does he accept it as ordinary social conduct, and repeat it with his child.

    Go for it, and good luck to you.
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  • Re: To smack kids or not to smack..........
     Reply #163 - July 05, 2009, 11:41 AM
    You're gettin kinda personal with aliadere, IsLame. This won't end well.
    fuck you
  • Re: To smack kids or not to smack..........
     Reply #164 - July 05, 2009, 11:44 AM
    Where?
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  • Re: To smack kids or not to smack..........
     Reply #165 - July 05, 2009, 11:48 AM
    That last post. It's probably better if the conversation isn't framed in terms of what aliadere would do if he had kids. Aliadere is more laid-back than I am, but if you had written that to me I'd be getting a bit upset right about now.
    fuck you
  • Re: To smack kids or not to smack..........
     Reply #166 - July 05, 2009, 11:55 AM
    He said he thinks its ok to smack kids, so he probably will hit his kids unless he changes his mind.  It not a personal attack, its his belief. 
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  • Re: To smack kids or not to smack..........
     Reply #167 - July 05, 2009, 11:57 AM
    Yeah but there's no reason to frame the discussion in a personal hypothetical unless you are trying to get personal with aliadere, which it looks like you are doing. Whatever, I gave my two cents. Do what you want.
    fuck you
  • Re: To smack kids or not to smack..........
     Reply #168 - July 05, 2009, 01:00 PM
    Quote from: IsLame on July 05, 2009, 11:55 AM
    He said he thinks its ok to smack kids, so he probably will hit his kids unless he changes his mind.  It not a personal attack, its his belief. 


    Ok, this doesn't fit.  Alot of people who do smack their kids, started out believing that they wouldn't smack their kids, so belief in something isn't proof of something.

    I mean I believe that smacking your child is pointless, but that doesn't mean that I haven't actually lost my temper and smacked my kids, because sadly I have.

    I could use the excuse that rasing a child with ODD is enough to drive even the most tolerant, calm type to anger (it's certainly been constantly told to me when I have confessed to his teacher that I have lost my temper in the past), but it's no excuse really.

    But I had tried many of the other options before losing my rag, I did the super nanny stuff and failed somewhere.

    I still try my very hardest never to resort to smacking, but it's a struggle tbh because I don't have experience of a different way.  All I have is books to learn from and I am someone who needs to experience to learn.

    I judge myself very harshly for this though. 
    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: To smack kids or not to smack..........
     Reply #169 - July 05, 2009, 01:05 PM
    Quote from: IsLame on July 05, 2009, 10:52 AM

    If you think it is OK to smack kids, then believe me you will

    How about hitting them harder?  It might work too. Shame you are not prepared to accept that other solutions might be more effective and more worthwhile.

    I just hope it doesnt become an established pattern of behaviour that you turn to whenever you are at a loss as to what to do or whenever you lose your rag, and your child winces when he sense its about to happen... again.  Nor does he accept it as ordinary social conduct, and repeat it with his child.

    Go for it, and good luck to you.


    By the way, I am not getting wound up as Q-Man was saying, but that last paragraph is a bit personal as to what I might do if I have kids and that is a bit out of order to be honest.

    Anyway, I do accept that other solutions will be more effective than a smack. I am just saying that a smack probably has its place.
    Religion - The hot potato that looked delicious but ended up burning your mouth!

    Knock your head on the ground, don't be miserly in your prayers, listen to your Sidi Sheikh, Allahu Akbar! - Lounes Matoub
  • Re: To smack kids or not to smack..........
     Reply #170 - July 05, 2009, 03:21 PM
    Give an example where a smack would be justified.
    The unlived life is not worth examining.
  • Re: To smack kids or not to smack..........
     Reply #171 - July 05, 2009, 03:38 PM
    Pissing off Ronald McDonald
    fuck you
  • Re: To smack kids or not to smack..........
     Reply #172 - July 05, 2009, 03:43 PM
     yes
    The unlived life is not worth examining.
  • Re: To smack kids or not to smack..........
     Reply #173 - July 21, 2009, 12:21 PM
    Quote from: Q-Man on July 05, 2009, 03:38 PM
    Pissing off Ronald McDonald


    Cheesy
    ...
  • To smack kids or not to smack..........
     Reply #174 - February 21, 2016, 01:06 PM
    Beat their ass but dont go too hard. When they get a little older like around teenage years stop. You gotta tell them you dont want to hit them but when they do stupid shit you have no other choice. It seems around me kids who got their ass beat when they wouldnt stop doing stupid shit are more successful as adults than other kids whose parents would just tell them stop doing something that DOESNT WORK ON A 9 YEAR OLD BRAT. whistling2
    As a scientist I can see farther than any human before me by standing on the shoulders of giants (previous scientists); As a religious follower I can not see what is right in-front of me, even when others INDEPENDENTLY see the same thing!
  • To smack kids or not to smack..........
     Reply #175 - February 21, 2016, 01:56 PM
    It's simply put bad and lazy parenting when you beat your kids because you as a parent do not have the patience, knowledge nor competence to teach your child right and wrong without having to degenerate into violence and fear as a method of child rearing.

    And I'm saying this as a parent, and a child who grew up with this kind of bullshit. Whenever I hear someone say shit like "spanking is good for kids", I (ironically enough) want to punch that person's teeth out. You know, to teach him stuff like right and wrong Wink
    "The healthiest people I know are those who are the first to label themselves fucked up." - three
  • To smack kids or not to smack..........
     Reply #176 - February 21, 2016, 02:07 PM
    Quote
    Quote
    To smack kids or not to smack..........


    Quote from: Cornflower on February 21, 2016, 01:56 PM
    It's simply put bad and lazy parenting ......


     smacking  kids  and lazy parents   ...

    I say when parents think that their  kids deserve smacking ..  then parents should give a stick to kids and  let them beat parents as hard as they can as punishment for kids.. 
    Do not let silence become your legacy.. Question everything   
    I renounced my faith to become a kafir, 
    the beloved betrayed me and turned in to  a Muslim     
  • To smack kids or not to smack..........
     Reply #177 - February 21, 2016, 05:39 PM
    Quote from: J4m3z on July 05, 2009, 03:21 PM
    Give an example where a smack would be justified.


    when someones precious sprog is kicking the back of your airline seat non stop over an 8hr flight.
  • To smack kids or not to smack..........
     Reply #178 - February 21, 2016, 05:42 PM
    Don't be a coward. Smack the parent.
    Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 09:05 AM
    how fuck works without shit??


    Let's Play Chess!

    harakaat, friend, RIP
  • To smack kids or not to smack..........
     Reply #179 - February 21, 2016, 05:51 PM
    I've often wanted to smack em both! put the  kids in cargo on long haul flights.

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