Today I learned..

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Today I learned..
OP - February 03, 2009, 03:32 AM

..that my father himself has actually felt driven away by Islam. Which is quite new to me. He's always been a very liberal person, but even this seemed out of reach.

But today, as I was discussing how most muslims dont even know what they are following as so few even bother to study the religion for themselves instead of relying on others word of mouth. My father was complaining how extremly dry and rediculous some people have made Islam to be, saying everything from playing chess to walking on grass is haram (He doesnt follow the hadiths btw). He said he used to pray very often but has seemed to have lost the motivation to practice the faith after witnessing how backwards people make it; he just couldnt associate with them and felt out of place.

My mom was a little upset to hear this, and argued why instead of being pushed away people didnt dig deeper to find the truth. Then my dad explained how theres a certain point/age when a person is vulnerable to such influences, and that once someone has strayed, its very hard to go back. I was glad to hear him say this as well, as it points to the idea that he understands how people can be driven away and not necessarily come back.

He also said he still wonders why God didnt send down an easier guide to life than the Quran, which is so ambiguous and archaic, people cant seem to agree over it.

I think all of this is a good sign for me, because it shows he understands SOME of the concepts behind me leaving Islam, so he just MIGHT be a little more understanding than expected...

I just hope my mom doesnt blame him for my apostacy. My dad may be liberal but he still considers himself a muslim.

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Re: Today I learned..
Reply #1 - February 03, 2009, 05:06 AM

I think it's amazing that your father's views complement yours in some way, so that ultimately he may be more understanding with regards to your apostasy.

I can understand why you'd be worried about your mother blaming him for it, as she was hurt by it.

I'd say just give it more time, it seems like your father is very understanding and intelligent and will support you.
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Re: Today I learned..
Reply #2 - February 03, 2009, 05:07 AM

Hey that's good to hear. Things might go smoothly for you. My dad is so deluded for such a seemingly intelligent man.

Today he said:

"You know what? I'm pretty sure Allah has deliberately made you a lazy girl. He knows that if you were more ambitious you would grow up preaching 'Men are equal to women!' 'Islam abuses women' 'God doesn't exist!' 'Traditions are stupid' !. Since he knows everything, he probably doesn't want you to fulfill your potential". Then he said " You scare me.".

He keeps saying this! I might as well come out to him. At least it won't come as a surprise.

Good luck, bella. I wish my dad was more like yours.

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Re: Today I learned..
Reply #3 - February 03, 2009, 10:29 AM

Good news! However it does not sound like he has any deeper issues with Islam, just the way some believers choose to follow it. I hope it is not a cunning ploy to empathise with you, and rope you back in?

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Re: Today I learned..
Reply #4 - February 03, 2009, 06:37 PM

It seems your parents are a lot like mine. My father actually accepted my apostasy where as my mother still has a hard time accepting it. My sister just denies it, and won't admit that I'm an apostate. She keeps saying it's a "phase."

I was very surprised when I told my father, that he didn't get mad. My sister found out first that I was a Murtad and she told my dad hoping my dad could turn things around. To her disappointment, my dad told her he was glad I acquired my own perspective of life, instead of following traditions.

My mother on the other hand seems to like the idea that I'm possessed by Satan. Whatever helps her sleep at night I suppose.

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Re: Today I learned..
Reply #5 - February 03, 2009, 08:07 PM

I'm not sure that thinking you're possessed by Satan would help her sleep at night.
If it does you should probably keep a close eye on your mother.

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Re: Today I learned..
Reply #6 - February 03, 2009, 08:13 PM

Quote from: Iggy on February 03, 2009, 05:07 AM
Hey that's good to hear. Things might go smoothly for you. My dad is so deluded for such a seemingly intelligent man.

Today he said:

"You know what? I'm pretty sure Allah has deliberately made you a lazy girl. He knows that if you were more ambitious you would grow up preaching 'Men are equal to women!' 'Islam abuses women' 'God doesn't exist!' 'Traditions are stupid' !. Since he knows everything, he probably doesn't want you to fulfill your potential". Then he said " You scare me.".

He keeps saying this! I might as well come out to him. At least it won't come as a surprise.

Good luck, bella. I wish my dad was more like yours.

His reaction tells me a lot about him. People do strange things when they get scared. Expect quite a reaction.

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Re: Today I learned..
Reply #7 - February 12, 2009, 04:31 AM

I am actually quite saddened by all this.. My dad is such a goodwilled person and despite everything he says to defend Islam, the more I read into it, the more I realize he's deluding himself. :(

When I read the quran, I dont see any reference to kindness towards others and tolerence. I dont see anything that points to cruelty being the cardinal sin. Apparently the biggest sin is to reject Allah. Thats not what my father believes at all.. But I'm afraid he's wrong.

Quod est inferius est sicut quod est superius,
et quod est superius est sicut quod est inferius,
ad perpetranda miracula rei unius.
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