'Yeh but you're a girl'

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'Yeh but you're a girl'
OP - October 17, 2008, 04:38 PM

I'm fed up of this line from whenever I see guys get away with stuff that they shouldn't.

For example "But he gets to be out later than 10! Why not me?"

"Because you're a girl, it's different"

That's not the best example, but whatever.

I couldn't decide whether to put this in the rant section or not.
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Re: 'Yeh but you're a girl'
Reply #1 - October 17, 2008, 04:44 PM

I'm with you on this one. That phrase made me hate being a female for well over twenty years of my life.

My childhood was ruined by that phrase.

"mum can we play at the park"
"No you're a girl"
"mum can we have a bike"
"no, you're a girl"
"mum can I go to NASA"
"No, you're a girl"
"mum can I...."
"shut up you are just a girl"

Then I got married:

"Wanker (what I should have called him) can I work"
"No, you're a woman"
"wanker can I do this course"
"no you're a woman"
"wanker my sister wants me at her birth, can I go"
"no, you need a man to take you because you're just a woman and I'm sitting here not taking you"
"wanker can I not have sex tonight"
"no you're a woman you are never allowed to say no"
"wanker will you do the dishes tonight"
"No, you're the woman it's your job"

I'm suprised I am not a lesbian I was a such a self hating woman.

Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
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Re: 'Yeh but you're a girl'
Reply #2 - October 17, 2008, 04:52 PM

You know what bugs me, my mother knows that my older brother has no interest in Islam whatsoever. He is 30 and still living at home but he has his own life. He goes out clubbing, drinks, smokes, the whole lot.

She was watching his skydiving video on youtube and missed the fact that there is a bundle of pictures of him drinking beer, quite obviously. I played that scene about 5 times in her presence just to see if she would say anything and she didn't. She looks at every single details in my pictures.

I wish I had a penis.
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Re: 'Yeh but you're a girl'
Reply #3 - October 17, 2008, 04:53 PM

I have to go to a party where there's gonna be ppl I dont know/ care about ..... coz Im a boy. Fuck sake
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Re: 'Yeh but you're a girl'
Reply #4 - October 17, 2008, 04:58 PM

MSinghK: What??
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Re: 'Yeh but you're a girl'
Reply #5 - October 18, 2008, 05:55 PM

Quote from: heartbomb on October 17, 2008, 04:58 PM
MSinghK: What??

Late reply but I have to do more shit than my sister. I dont want to go to a party where I wont do anything or talk to anyone but I have to because Im the oldest boy. I have to go with my mum places because Im a boy like to a 4king shop, drags me along. Have to fix shit that doesnt really need fixing much. Stuff like that. Trivial, I know but it pisses me off.

Anyway, this is women in ISLAM. Ill stay out.
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Re: 'Yeh but you're a girl'
Reply #6 - October 18, 2008, 09:46 PM

Yeah, and we're practically prostitutes if we have a boyfriend.

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Re: 'Yeh but you're a girl'
Reply #7 - October 19, 2008, 06:25 AM

Quote from: MSinghK on October 18, 2008, 05:55 PM
Quote from: heartbomb on October 17, 2008, 04:58 PM
MSinghK: What??

Late reply but I have to do more shit than my sister. I dont want to go to a party where I wont do anything or talk to anyone but I have to because Im the oldest boy. I have to go with my mum places because Im a boy like to a 4king shop, drags me along. Have to fix shit that doesnt really need fixing much. Stuff like that. Trivial, I know but it pisses me off.

Anyway, this is women in ISLAM. Ill stay out.

Oh yeh, I completely agree that guys don't have it easy either! It sucks that anyone has to go through that...my brother is lucky though, he is the eldest and gets away with murder.

LoS: I know...my mother has made it quite clear (since she is suspicious that my boyfriend and I aren't 'just friends'), that I can't even consider being with a white, non Muslim boyfriend.
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Re: 'Yeh but you're a girl'
Reply #8 - October 19, 2008, 09:41 AM

That's easy then. Tell her you've never considered it and are just doing it for the hell of it.

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Re: 'Yeh but you're a girl'
Reply #9 - October 19, 2008, 09:45 AM

Quote from: heartbomb on October 19, 2008, 06:25 AM
Quote from: MSinghK on October 18, 2008, 05:55 PM
Quote from: heartbomb on October 17, 2008, 04:58 PM
MSinghK: What??

Late reply but I have to do more shit than my sister. I dont want to go to a party where I wont do anything or talk to anyone but I have to because Im the oldest boy. I have to go with my mum places because Im a boy like to a 4king shop, drags me along. Have to fix shit that doesnt really need fixing much. Stuff like that. Trivial, I know but it pisses me off.

Anyway, this is women in ISLAM. Ill stay out.

Oh yeh, I completely agree that guys don't have it easy either! It sucks that anyone has to go through that...my brother is lucky though, he is the eldest and gets away with murder.

LoS: I know...my mother has made it quite clear (since she is suspicious that my boyfriend and I aren't 'just friends'), that I can't even consider being with a white, non Muslim boyfriend.

Im the eldest too and I wanna get away with murder. Not allowed though.
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Re: 'Yeh but you're a girl'
Reply #10 - March 20, 2011, 03:25 AM

Bump
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Re: 'Yeh but you're a girl'
Reply #11 - March 20, 2011, 03:42 AM

Piss standing up. That'll show 'em.

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Re: 'Yeh but you're a girl'
Reply #12 - March 20, 2011, 03:45 AM

Quote from: Hananii on March 20, 2011, 03:25 AM
Bump

Why the hyperbump? Did it just happen to you as well?
(I hate sexism as well)

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Re: 'Yeh but you're a girl'
Reply #13 - March 20, 2011, 04:01 AM

I think it happens to a lot of girls.
I just really wanted to get it into focus that explains the super bump.
This is one of the reasons that got me to question Islam and I'm a feminist so yeah lol

It does piss me off tho, it did just happen recently.
My and my 2 sisters go to college together and my sister's last class is at 8:15, so we usually get home at 9.
If we are any bit late (say 9:15) we get in trouble. We get a stern talking to about why we are late and yelled to never be late again.
My dad actually told us that next semester we can't take classes after 6 (keep in mind that I'm 19 and my sisters are 20 and 21).
While on the other hand, my brother (who is younger than us, 17) he gets to stay as late as he wants.
He works until about 3-4am and his excuse is that he is working.
Other time when he comes home at lik 1 am, parents tell him nothing at all.
Sometimes his excuse is "I was at the gym", and honestly, how late do gyms stay open for?

Anyway, I talked to my dad about it and his excuse?
"Your girls"
"Something might happen to you"
etc.
I mean, there are 3 of us and we leave right after classes finish.
It just really pissed me off and I don't know if a lot of girls have to go through this.
We shouldn't have to.

I'm not asking for them to be stricter on my bro, but to treat us equally.
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Re: 'Yeh but you're a girl'
Reply #14 - March 20, 2011, 04:14 AM

Quote from: Hananii on March 20, 2011, 04:01 AM
"Your girls"
"Something might happen to you"
etc.

I hear this a lot too.

My parents don't usually say "It's because your girls", mostly because they realize that it puts to words and make it seem more real that they are giving us different rules, but I think it's also because we argue a lot when we say that, and if they disagree that we're not lesser being, they'll sound like monsters. (If this makes sense)

But that doesn't mean they don't show it by their actions. -_-
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Re: 'Yeh but you're a girl'
Reply #15 - March 20, 2011, 11:02 AM

I see.
But, do you people realize that this is not the result of Islam?
It's present in most cultures: in my opinion it's the result of the traditional concept that "females are beautiful and fragile and special by their very nature" (if something is beautiful and fragile and special then it ends up being considered a resource that must be sought/traded/regulated).

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Re: 'Yeh but you're a girl'
Reply #16 - March 20, 2011, 11:12 AM

Quote from: BerberElla on October 17, 2008, 04:44 PM
"wanker can I not have sex tonight"
"no you're a woman you are never allowed to say no"

+1

j/k

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Re: 'Yeh but you're a girl'
Reply #17 - March 20, 2011, 05:57 PM

I do agree that it's not fair for you girls but on the other side of the coin about going out there are safety concerns that are legit for girls it's not fair but it's real there are some scumbags out there and they are predators. Some of the concerns you bring up are more about our culture and some relate directly to Islam. I agree it's nit fair and girls do get the short end of the stick but it's a general mentality of our society and it prob won't change. But the best thing to so in situations where it's not fair isn't to throw a temper tantrum and complain but to just do what u gotta do and make your own path be strong and show the world your not victims your not weak and you are capable of taking care of yourself and you can make good decisions and not put yourself in harms way. Be strong ladies and don't be discouraged by society. Also a quote I heard that goes something like this... That women who do what's expected of them never make history or dont change anything it's the ones who break out of their roles and expectations that make change.
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Re: 'Yeh but you're a girl'
Reply #18 - March 20, 2011, 06:07 PM

Quote from: Tlaloc on March 20, 2011, 11:02 AM
I see.
But, do you people realize that this is not the result of Islam?
It's present in most cultures: in my opinion it's the result of the traditional concept that "females are beautiful and fragile and special by their very nature" (if something is beautiful and fragile and special then it ends up being considered a resource that must be sought/traded/regulated).

Yeah ii realize it is present in a lot of cultures, with different extents of course.
But how ii see it is that it is justified by religion, which gives it that extra push.
My dad is always saying that the house is a women's place because she gets her best deeds at home (or something around that).
Also, doesn't allow me to work because the man is supposed to work and support the family, not women (justified again by some Islamic story or hadith).

Quote from: superomario on March 20, 2011, 05:57 PM
I do agree that it's not fair for you girls but on the other side of the coin about going out there are safety concerns that are legit for girls

I definitely agree, no doubt.
However, I always be careful and I'm always cautious.
There's a difference between being cautious and being completely afraid.
My parents don't see that line. They see it as being cautious when they are being completely just afraid.
And plus, in my situation, we're 3 girls and we are in college walking together, and my bro is 1 guy alone at 3 am.

I just think parents and families should honestly find the middle ground.
Not be so dam sexist, but also not to be careless.
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'Yeh but you're a girl'
Reply #19 - April 21, 2014, 01:57 AM

My mom
"You won't ever be equal to your brother, because you are a girl. We will always treat you differently"

Me: "but why he doesn't have to do the housework?"
Mom: "because he is a guy."

My parents " it 's good for GUYS to hang out with their friends, they should not stay home.
They are not girls!"
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'Yeh but you're a girl'
Reply #20 - April 21, 2014, 02:20 AM

Wow, Yep.

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'Yeh but you're a girl'
Reply #21 - April 21, 2014, 02:29 AM

Quote from: INcePtion on April 21, 2014, 01:57 AM
My mom
"You won't ever be equal to your brother, because you are a girl. We will always treat you differently"

Me: "but why he doesn't have to do the housework?"
Mom: "because he is a guy."

My parents " it 's good for GUYS to hang out with their friends, they should not stay home.
They are not girls!"

This is exactly where the resentment of the mother-in-law starts. Ladies, if you want to be friendly with your future daughter-in-law and see your grandchildren on a regular basis, do NOT teach your son he is an entitled god without any responsibility for his own actions. She will HATE you, and when she divorces your lazy, irresponsible, and entitled brat, she will NOT let you visit the grandchildren, for fear they will turn out like their father.
Make your boys clean. They make messes, they clean. Simple cause and effect lessons, that, if absent during child development, ruins their logical mind for life.

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'Yeh but you're a girl'
Reply #22 - April 21, 2014, 02:49 AM

When I was 14-15 years old, i used to hate men so much because of all the freedom they had. I became a total psycho, because my parents treated me like I was worth nothing. I would be paranoid when they talked about how they want to get me married very soon. But with time I got used to all their threats. My only escape was wriring a diary. I collected four of them but i dont know why I throw them away.
I wish I had them, so to see how much improvement there has been.
I know that most of the time I wrote about the misogynistic behaviour of my parents and how much i hated that culture and everything related to it.
But it is now that I realize how important it is to keep everything you write.
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'Yeh but you're a girl'
Reply #23 - April 21, 2014, 02:59 AM

*Informs mother of my 6 minute mile*
"LOOK AT YOU SO SKINNY, ITS PROBABLY ALL BECAUSE OF TRACK YOU SHOULD BE SPENDING THAT TIME CLEANING THE HOUSE YOU LOUSY PIECE OF SHIT. WHAT IS A WOMEN'S WORTH WITHOUT DOMESTIC WORK!"

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'Yeh but you're a girl'
Reply #24 - April 21, 2014, 03:00 AM

I believe the fact that Islam teaches that women are these delicate, fragile, simple-minded, flighty creatures who need constant guidance from a male is a major part of the problem.

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'Yeh but you're a girl'
Reply #25 - April 21, 2014, 03:06 AM

There's a lot here, and yes it sucks.
So I do empathize.
On the other hand, culturally, you don't have to support yourself and go to work to support and if you work, you get to keep your money and spend it how you like.

The other issue is that girls tend to not want to risk being socially stigmatized more than guys.
A lot of girls just don't push the line. They want their parents to not dislike them or think poorly of them.
More guys are willing to stay out late and get yelled at and disobey their parents.
Is it more culturally acceptable for guys to be disobedient? Partly. I also think partly guys are more likely to not care if they break social bonds.

In as much as the culture is to blame, this one is also quite huge in my view.
I grew up in a rather strict household, and yeah, I disobeyed and got yelled at, got hit a few times... it was the price of change. I can say the same for most of the guys I knew and this again crosses cultures as well.
The girls, most when they did things, did so behind their parents back, sneaky, so there was less outright defiance.
A lot of girls aren't willing to do that and risk being disliked or ostracized. They would sneak out, rant, go crazy, but just didn't outright do what the hell they wanted.

Again, I know the rules really suck for girls culturally and what not.
I'm just tossing this in there as a contribution.
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'Yeh but you're a girl'
Reply #26 - April 21, 2014, 03:09 AM

Muslim boys are treated like princes, i was in a restaurant recently and this father was sat with his young daughter and son, i watched as he hand fed his 10 year old son his dinner like he was a baby, wiped his mouth etc ?? Then nudged his daughter aside told her to eat up.. Just is silly
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'Yeh but you're a girl'
Reply #27 - April 21, 2014, 03:11 AM

^^ but you got caught, the girl didn't. If she did however get caught the consequences would have been so, so much more severe.

Just like Johnny Flynn said, the breath I've taken and the one I must to go on.
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'Yeh but you're a girl'
Reply #28 - April 21, 2014, 03:18 AM

I can't describe how many times I've heard the, "But you're a girl," speech. Even until this day, I still wish that I was born a boy. My life would be far better and simple but I highly doubt I would leave Islam if I was a male...
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'Yeh but you're a girl'
Reply #29 - April 21, 2014, 03:23 AM

Despite all the baggage I like my second X chromosome tbh...

Just like Johnny Flynn said, the breath I've taken and the one I must to go on.
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