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- Razmatazez
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OP - January 16, 2016, 05:39 PM

Hello, just found this forum after watching youtube vids on evolution and creationism. I am an atheist, but still in the closet as it would break my mums heart. Its quite a thing to finally shed all the doubt, I went to an islamic boarding school and arabic classes since I could speak. My mum is a widow and a devout muslim, she kinda knows what I believe but doesn't really accept it. She tells me I am the perfect son save I do not pray which means I am not her son at all. This hurts a little, well it hurts a lot since she is my whole world. Im quite sure a lot of ex muslims have experienced this..how did you cope, does it get better, will I have to pretend for the rest of her days, I am 27 so I could potentially be pretending for a long time!!

"LET THERE BE LIGHT" God said to himself..like a weirdo.
- Rob
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Reply #1 - January 16, 2016, 05:47 PM

Hello.

I can't really say anything helpful since I don't have any of your experiences but I thought I could at least welcome you in.
- Razmatazez
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Reply #2 - January 16, 2016, 05:54 PM

Cheers mate

"LET THERE BE LIGHT" God said to himself..like a weirdo.
- bogart
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Reply #3 - January 16, 2016, 06:04 PM

I had a similar experience as a Christian with my mother. I just avoided religion as a topic when possible. You know "Some things are better left unsaid" If I couldn't avoid it I used alternative interpretations to justify my views without openly declaring atheism. Over time my mother became far more moderate due to her experiences. Small influences can have a major impact over time. Also try to introduce her to new activities so she is not always focused on religion. A major issue with parents becoming more zealous with their religious view is a lack of different social activities and interactions. Try to watch for hints from her in order to figure out her interests outside of religion. It could be sports, watching or playing, or some other activity. In my experience it was theater. My mother loves it.

You will just let her views of you slide unless it becomes a point of hostility. Open arguments, name calling, denouements, etc. You know "fight words" When that happens you need to get some distance or cut ties as it will just poison your life with drama you do not need nor deserve.
- asbie
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Reply #4 - January 16, 2016, 07:27 PM

Welcome to the forum Razmatazez, have a rabbit!

Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 09:05 AM
how fuck works without shit??

Let's Play Chess!

harakaat, friend, RIP
- babooshka
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Reply #5 - January 16, 2016, 07:53 PM

Go easy on your mum. its easy for this generation to find 'the truth' at the click of a button but parents didn't have that luxury in their youth. my parents just do the five times a day prayer and that's about it really. they did nag me to pray but I just couldn't do it. i would start then stop. anyway they don't nag me now and we even have some great debates and a fairly good relationship. I've never said i don't believe but they know it. And so will your mum. parents know these things. especially mums. So my adivise would be not to have any major debates. most parents are working and don't have time for youtube research. For me it has gotten better over time and i'm happy with the way things have turned out. I agree with bogart re interests outside religion.

funny thing, is i still find myself writing muslim on forms.
- Helaine
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Reply #6 - January 17, 2016, 06:41 AM

Welcome
- Razmatazez
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Reply #7 - January 17, 2016, 01:50 PM

Thanks for your replies and support, my mother unfortunately is devout in the very extreme sense of the word. If I ever have a problem or doubt and I ask her for advice, the only advice I will hear is pray to Allah. She spends every second she can praying and has no other hobbies. She has been quite successful in her career and is financially stable, but if I ever ask advice on my career or what moves I should make, I only hear one answer "I only have Allah to thank". It's really frustrating because she doesn't see what a brilliant individual she is. She doesn't see how strong and clever she really is.

"LET THERE BE LIGHT" God said to himself..like a weirdo.
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