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Theme Changer

 Topic: Relationship post-Islam

 (Read 10611 times)
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  • Relationship post-Islam
     Reply #30 - March 22, 2015, 08:19 PM
    Quote from: Trustworthy on March 22, 2015, 03:03 PM
    Sounds like some great teenage years! Wink
    btw, Lua, I've picked up that our husband is an apostate now, too. Correct me if I'm wrong, just read that between the lines. If so: awesome! I think...

    Never dated before you got married, three?
    I don't even know whether I'm capable of commitment. The hopeless romantic in me says I do, but that's just my imagination.



    I was a serial wife. I had a boyfriend for three years in high school, which was more like a marriage. I did not really date. I commit, rather than date. I just cannot get used to the idea of trying partners on, like shirts. I know it is smarter to do so, but I cannot grasp it.
    Don't let Hitler have the street.
  • Relationship post-Islam
     Reply #31 - March 22, 2015, 08:20 PM
    Quote from: Quod Sum Eris on March 22, 2015, 07:41 PM
    She's scared I'll say no. Bless.


    Priceless.
    Don't let Hitler have the street.
  • Relationship post-Islam
     Reply #32 - March 22, 2015, 08:51 PM
     it's true what you guys said above about being approachable, it doesn't matter how beautiful you are, if you haven't got a smile on your face, i think guys feel intimidated by you, when my sis and i walk in public, i'm usually the one with my head down, and she walks proud with a smile and she gets men approaching her alll the time.. I can't be bothered with it all..  : /
  • Relationship post-Islam
     Reply #33 - March 22, 2015, 09:28 PM
    I doubt it's intimidation, more picking up that you look like you don't want to be bothered.
    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • Relationship post-Islam
     Reply #34 - March 22, 2015, 09:40 PM
    true..

    x
  • Relationship post-Islam
     Reply #35 - March 22, 2015, 10:24 PM
    Quote from: Cornflower on March 22, 2015, 07:45 PM
    But seriously, I don't think I would ever ask someone out, I'm already convinced they would say no. I have issues with rejection.


    Umm. Imagining a scenario in which a guy would say no to you is really making me wonder how weird Sweden must be.
  • Relationship post-Islam
     Reply #36 - March 22, 2015, 10:48 PM
    Quote from: three on March 22, 2015, 08:19 PM
    I was a serial wife. I had a boyfriend for three years in high school, which was more like a marriage. I did not really date. I commit, rather than date. I just cannot get used to the idea of trying partners on, like shirts. I know it is smarter to do so, but I cannot grasp it.


    Are you talking about committing to a relationship to make it work or committing to the partner? In my experience I commit to the partner until a situation arises in which my commitment is undermined. For example I am in a relationship with a partner but find my feelings are not as strong as before or feelings for a non-partner are stronger than what I have for the partner. At this point, upon reflection, I usually choose to end the relationship. In my view I would be committing myself to a partner and relationship which is not based on strong emotional ties. In essences I would be lying to myself while also lying to the partner.

    Sweden is weird.
  • Relationship post-Islam
     Reply #37 - March 23, 2015, 01:46 AM
    Committing to the partner would be committing to the relationship, there is no difference to me. I have only ended one relationship, ever. For me, the commitment itself brings the emotional tie. It never occurred to me to end a marriage because my husband was not as committed or had breached the contract. This is not healthy, however. Far from it.
    Now that I have children I have higher standards. Thank goodness!
    Don't let Hitler have the street.
  • Relationship post-Islam
     Reply #38 - March 23, 2015, 02:28 AM
    Quote from: happymurtad on March 22, 2015, 10:24 PM
    Umm. Imagining a scenario in which a guy would say no to you is really making me wonder how weird Sweden must be.

     

    Second that.

    CF your beautiful enough to make straight women question their sexuality let alone straight men. 

     bunny
    In my opinion a life without curiosity is not a life worth living
  • Relationship post-Islam
     Reply #39 - March 23, 2015, 05:16 AM
    Aww thanks guys  mysmilie_977  I wish I recieved compliments IRL like I do here Grin
    "The healthiest people I know are those who are the first to label themselves fucked up." - three
  • Relationship post-Islam
     Reply #40 - March 23, 2015, 01:58 PM
    Quote from: suki on March 22, 2015, 08:51 PM
    it's true what you guys said above about being approachable, it doesn't matter how beautiful you are, if you haven't got a smile on your face, i think guys feel intimidated by you, when my sis and i walk in public, i'm usually the one with my head down, and she walks proud with a smile and she gets men approaching her alll the time.. I can't be bothered with it all..  : /

    Body language is pretty important. If your body says 'don't approach me' then that is usually what will happen when people respect that signal.

    You don't need a constant smile on your face though. You just need to look approachable and fairly confident. Keep your head up, don't brood, don't cross arms. Study others body language and use it to help yourself. Smile when someone starts talking to you.

    You don't have to do this all the time, just occasionally. It'll help you in the longrun.

    You have to learn and practice these skills in order to become better at using them. Studying others has helped me a lot. There's also plenty of books about body language and winning friends to help you if that's easier.
    ~My story~
    ~Collection of unethical hadiths/surahs~
  • Relationship post-Islam
     Reply #41 - March 24, 2015, 02:19 PM
    Sorry, I had planned to respond to all of you but then responsibilities got in the way. Will do some procrastination now and respond anyway.
    The future is full of thrilling possibilities.
  • Relationship post-Islam
     Reply #42 - March 24, 2015, 02:30 PM
    Quote from: asbie on March 16, 2015, 01:26 PM
    Same

    Its difficult and whatnot, so you're going to make mistakes without a doubt. You level up just like anything else that you have to start from scratch though. Go ahead and do it if you think its worthwhile.


    Quote from: asbie on March 16, 2015, 06:35 PM
    What's more difficult than the social/physical parts are the emotional effects that relationships will have on you. Most people by their 20s will have some experience with rejection, heartbreak, and disappointment as related to relationships. For someone who doesn't have any experience with it be forewarned that these emotions are very powerful and should not be underestimated.

    Relationship building involves hard work, time, and mental toughness for which you should be prepared. If you think you'll just get in there and everything will just go great, you're in for a world of shit. So be ready, good luck, and have fun!  Afro

    So far I've encountered the disappointment part twice already. I pretty much thought that as soon as someone got to know the "real" me (as in: no hijab etc), it would be so much easier. Nope. The fact that I overthink everything doesn't really help, either.

    Quote from: moi on March 17, 2015, 10:06 AM
    Either god/allah has real problems with sex or people claim close relationships with him because they have problems with...

     Cheesy

    Quote from: moi on March 17, 2015, 10:14 AM
    Maybe some form of beaufort scale is required? 

    Able to treat others as equals, be empathatic, co-operative, playful to believing and practisising celibacy, having very unequal relationships, authoritarian.

    There have been discussions about the dark triad

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dark_triad

    Does it need to be expanded to include being part of hierarchical and or word based organisations led by males?

    While your posts are usually very informative, I don't really see the relevance to this topic.
    Quote from: ronald_odair on March 17, 2015, 11:46 AM
    This x 100000

    I was super prude, now just improving social skills and stuff with the boys. Made a really amazing female friend. Now met someone I think I can connect with. Just have to see if she feels interested lol.

    Much better than what I was 4-5 months ago. Only just started. Hopefully first kiss etc coming. At this rate with my wild persona, it shouldn't be too hard.

    Go get 'em, tiger! Hope if will be soon Wink

    Quote from: purelyatheist on March 17, 2015, 01:49 PM
    Ye the only reason I had my first kiss and sex at 19 was due to a not well thought through marriage. Like Nareys my first proper post Islam relationship and fornication Tongue as Islam puts it was at 26 Wink

    You still young Smiley


    Há, leave it to CEMB to make me feel less like a freak. Thank you!

    Out of curiosity: were you married before you kissed your spouse? Did you know him before?

    The future is full of thrilling possibilities.
  • Relationship post-Islam
     Reply #43 - March 24, 2015, 02:31 PM
    Quote from: Cornflower on March 22, 2015, 04:00 PM
    ^ But what if the date part never happens? I don't know in what world you guys live in, or rather it's me who's living in a crazy world, but getting a date is more or less impossible mysmilie_977  The actual date isn't something very complicated. Getting one, though... Grin


    exactly!

    The future is full of thrilling possibilities.
  • Relationship post-Islam
     Reply #44 - March 24, 2015, 02:35 PM
    Quote from: asbie on March 22, 2015, 07:40 PM
    How about asking a guy out?


    Because I felt a connection after talking to someone, I gave him my number (without him asking for it), after which we had thé most awkward and uncomfortable text conversation and now we're back to being just fellow students.

    Very motivating.


    I believe the unapproachable part is a big deal of it. I always walk around with headphones in, I suffer from 'resting bitch face' syndrome and I'm always on my phone or reading a book in public transportation. Recipe for disaster. Smiley
    The future is full of thrilling possibilities.
  • Relationship post-Islam
     Reply #45 - March 24, 2015, 02:47 PM
    Quote
    Because I felt a connection after talking to someone, I gave him my number (without him asking for it), after which we had thé most awkward and uncomfortable text conversation and now we're back to being just fellow students.

     

    It's still better than having a text convo with someone off a dating site and then have them not reply to a simple text saying " hey wanna go grab a coffee next week ? " 


    urgh. In my head I thought " can you at least have the maturity to politely decline instead of just leaving the other person hanging. "

    In my opinion a life without curiosity is not a life worth living
  • Relationship post-Islam
     Reply #46 - March 24, 2015, 03:03 PM
    ^ Ahw, man, that sucks! You would expect people on a dating date would know to at least respond
    Let's hope karma will get them and someone they're interested in will leave them hanging Wink
    The future is full of thrilling possibilities.
  • Relationship post-Islam
     Reply #47 - March 24, 2015, 03:06 PM
    The annoying thing was she was responding pretty quickly to all of my other texts and the convo was going great.

    As soon as I asked if she wanted to go for coffee sudden silence.
    In my opinion a life without curiosity is not a life worth living
  • Relationship post-Islam
     Reply #48 - March 24, 2015, 03:11 PM
    Might not have got it. It's possible.
    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • Relationship post-Islam
     Reply #49 - March 24, 2015, 03:13 PM
    Stupid. If she doesn't want to meet up, what is she doing on a dating site anyway?

    Nah, Quod, possible but not very likely.
    The future is full of thrilling possibilities.
  • Relationship post-Islam
     Reply #50 - March 24, 2015, 03:14 PM
    Did you try texting her again asking if she got it?
    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • Relationship post-Islam
     Reply #51 - March 24, 2015, 03:22 PM
    I actually wouldn't. I would even go so far as to say that, when you're in that initial "let's see if we can set up a date" sort of phase, you shouldn't bother sending repeat texts or anything if the other person doesn't get around to responding to you.

    Even if she just didn't get your message, she knows how to contact you herself, and if she thought there was something there, she probably would have sent you a message, even just to say, "Hey, haven't talked to you in a while, what's up?" to kind of see if she can get the ball rolling again.

    It'd be nice if everyone was mature and outright with their intentions, but that's often not the case, especially with people who for one reason or another have a hard time saying no or shutting someone down in the very beginning.

    A good rule of thumb when you're dating is that if you're the one always initiating contact and trying to set up dates, but the other person isn't putting any effort in or gives vague answers and says they'll be really busy for a while and so on, that's probably a totally lost cause.
  • Relationship post-Islam
     Reply #52 - March 24, 2015, 05:58 PM

     When I don't get a response within a day I just delete them from my contact list and message someone else. If your a guy on a site you usually message about 10 girls every few days and about 10% or so reply back and then you talk to those ones and then a smaller percentage agree to an actual date

    It's a complete numbers game. She was muslim anyways so it's not like it was going to go anywhere. She messaged me first so I just started replying back.

    In my opinion a life without curiosity is not a life worth living
  • Relationship post-Islam
     Reply #53 - April 26, 2015, 03:53 PM
    And she scoooooooooored.  Cheesy

    First kiss and first date! In that order :p
    Second date tomorrow  dance
    The future is full of thrilling possibilities.
  • Relationship post-Islam
     Reply #54 - April 26, 2015, 04:01 PM
     Afro
    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • Relationship post-Islam
     Reply #55 - April 26, 2015, 04:01 PM
    Congrats dance bunny
    "The healthiest people I know are those who are the first to label themselves fucked up." - three
  • Relationship post-Islam
     Reply #56 - April 26, 2015, 04:16 PM
     dance Never doubted you!
  • Relationship post-Islam
     Reply #57 - April 26, 2015, 06:03 PM
    Quote from: Trustworthy on April 26, 2015, 03:53 PM
    And she scoooooooooored.  Cheesy

    First kiss and first date! In that order :p
    Second date tomorrow  dance


     Afro
    Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
    how fuck works without shit??


    Let's Play Chess!

    harakaat, friend, RIP
  • Relationship post-Islam
     Reply #58 - April 26, 2015, 09:01 PM
    There is a cute smart girl in my class (there's actually a couple of them). Unfortunately she has a boyfriend.

    He is pretty damn attractive if I must say so. But hey, he ain't no physicist like me!
  • Relationship post-Islam
     Reply #59 - April 26, 2015, 10:56 PM
    Quote from: Descent on April 26, 2015, 09:01 PM
    There is a cute smart girl in my class (there's actually a couple of them). Unfortunately she has a boyfriend.

    He is pretty damn attractive if I must say so. But hey, he ain't no physicist like me!


    That's the spirit!  Afro
    Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
    how fuck works without shit??


    Let's Play Chess!

    harakaat, friend, RIP
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