Hello lovely people,
I have been reading on the forum for quite some time and finally decided that I should create an account and introduce myself.
I am an ex-muslim Arab girl in her mid-twenties living in Denmark. My parents are very religious, but relatively not close-minded. By that I mean that my parents understood I would never grow up to become a typical Arab housewife-kinda daughter, and "allowed" me to have boyfriends and male friends. (No sex allowed of course).
I grew up with a lot of religious indoctrination, and despite living in Denmark most of my life, I was quite isolated from the Danish society as we lived in an area with mainly Muslims. I attended a private islamic school and due to peer pressure from the others in class, and from the society I was surrounded by, I started to wear the veil in 6th grade.
As a child I was a loner and misunderstood by the other Arab kids as none of them shared my curiosity as to how the universe works and my love for science. I also clearly remember the day I found a book about evolution in the library at the age of 14 and reading it with great interest, and quickly sharing my thoughts with my mom who didn't quite have the reaction I expected her to. I was told to never speak of such non-sense again in the house.
I remember telling my sister at that time that I didn't think I could believe in a God when it contradicted everything science had taught us. The God they taught us about in school was not the kind of God I wanted to believe in. That God favoured men and made life miserable for women. The God they told me about apparently didn't care enough about me to stop me from getting molested by my uncle several times as a kid. My sister cried and begged me to keep believing in God, and so I did.
Now after all these years, I have finally taken the final step at realizing who I am and admitting to myself that I do not believe in the abrahamic god or any other god for that matter. It was a very scary step and I feel very shattered at times. I do love my parents, and I know that this is not something I will ever be able to tell them. They won't be able to understand no matter what. For their sake and for my own I will keep it to myself. I struggle with thinking how I will raise my future children. How my parents will interfere. Religious holidays, that I used to enjoy as a child and that I am unsure with make any sense if I chose to not introduce them to religion at all.
This was a long rant, but just felt I had alot of things on my chest that I needed to share with someone. It's so hard to deal with this by yourself.
Topic: A little about myself.