Hello everyone and thanks for your input!
Nikolaj
Hello to Denmark then! I know a few things like "jeg er sulten" or "du ligner en gammel hex" (spelling?) haha..
Nyd is from the Anglo Saxon Rune Poem and can also mean "need". This passage has been very true to me.
Xiis
You know, in a way I used to think that too. But with my experience now I can say it isn't always that easy. I will try to answer your questions:
I wonder why on earth non muslim women would even consider being in a relationship with someone who is trying to convert them or someone who seems religious especially muslim men (I think most educated ppl have tried to read the quran) and especially if the women are not particularly religious themselves.
I'm sure you know you can't chose who you love, and that you can't just find love at every corner.
I know couples where it worked out. I think it is wiser to give it a chance to see if it works than to simply walk away because of prejudice. Better look twice before regretting. That does not mean submitting. It just means you are taking a closer look.
Am I the only ex muslim woman raised in this culture wondering what the appeal is? Are they presenting themselves as non religious when they first meet these women and switching up later? I understand the need to find love but is it worth losing yourself?
But why would you lose yourself? I have made it clear I won't change. The only question is whether he will accept that. And I don't exactly go out there searching for love haha...if it happens it happens. There is more to it than just a brain that says "I want to love" and looks. Many fish in the sea, but that doesn't mean they are for me.
I have faced much more difficult things than religion in the way of a relationship tbh...so *shrugs*. It either works or it doesn't.
If a mormon guy asked you to wear magical mormon underpants bc he feared for your soul would you still feel so torn?
If a catholic guy seemed shaken bc you didnt believe in the virgin mary, I am sure you would think him unstable and move on.
No, to me religious people are alike. And if I was in love I would give anyone a chance.
Why are western women struck deaf and dumb when the man is muslim? Crazy is crazy run dont walk.
Just bc someone isnt white but brown or their religion is different doesnt mean they cant be crazy.
Treat them like you would treat a white guy telling you that he thinks your going to hell if you dont believe in his god.
I have a feeling you are assuming things and generalizing. I'm not "western women" or "struck deaf and dumb". I entered a complicated relationship and am willing to give it time that's all. Not all women who get with Muslim men lay down at his feet and sacrifice themselves. And not all men expect that.
I am treating him like I would treat anyone else. When he said change this, I said no you change. If I would not think there is a bit of hope, I would not keep trying. But so far all the debates have actually led to changes for the good and better understanding.
I noticed a lot of problems have to do with cultural differences and "not knowing", by exchanging knowledge he was able to see things from a different angle.
Same for me...I was much more prejudiced when I entered but I noticed there are many different types of Muslims...not just the extreme ones that won't listen to anything. I still don't know if it will work, but it has only been about a month. I am only evaluating right now.
I appreciate your concerns, but imho you misunderstand the situation. I hope this shed some light on it.
Maybe check out my thread for a better picture of the situation
. This was just a brief introduction:
http://www.councilofexmuslims.com/index.php?topic=27721.msg794466#msg794466three
That is exactly the way I am thinking. I am a mother first and a lover second. I will chose to only be a mother if my idea of love is not accepted. In my experience, if you are not compatible, it does cause lovers to distance themselves too and often relations will naturally end.
countjulian
Hallo! Ich habe auch keine Umlaute auf der Tastatur
Sorry to hear about your heartache. I know these must be extremely difficult situations, which is why I chose to seek advice here, so I don't walk into it uninformed.
doubts
I read your story, it was heartbreaking and I am sorry you had to experience this and that it just would not workout. I believe there is a lesson to everything and painful experiences can make us stronger.
It is tragic that something like Religion can stand above love.
The fear of god is something I can see, but I feel my man may have a few doubts deep inside. He admitted to a few things that make me believe that. He also used to be not really religious, so I want to see if what this is about.
I am telling myself that if it does not work out, it is not meant to be. I would not want someone to love god more than me. I am highly idealistic when it comes to love and expect feelings as strong as they can get. If anyone does not match these qualities, maybe they aren't for me.
I am 32 and haven't found real love yet that is meant to last. My expectations are too high.
Topic: Need advice from people that know both sides