Hi
OP - November 07, 2014, 02:48 PM
I found this forum maybe over a week ago, registered finally.
I was searching for a community who'd be accepting of my views and beliefs. I'm 18 years old. I was born into an Islamic family and being the eldest of four, I have to pretty much be a prime example. Over the years I started doubting my religion. I questioned why? at almost anything. Why did some muslims celebrate Eid on different days? Why are there so many groups of muslims? Why are boys more superior and have less restrictions? The normal stuff really.
Lately, I started to realise my life and childhood have been the most boring, shittiest and lonely years. I was always told by my mother that when I get married, I could do whatever I want. I'm not allowed to cut my hair short, dye it, talk to boys, go out late or whenever I please. Just small things bother me. WHY CAN'T I DO THESE THINGS?
The last few months, I started to think that religion is just a delusion, that people want something to believe in and without it they don't know who they are. I asked my mother a few times, "how do you know there's Allah?" And her answer was the most illogical response, "Because there is, and you shouldn't doubt it or else you'll go to hell." I just don't understand why I am forced a religion upon.
I just want to be free. I want to move out. I want to be able to see my boyfriend-- but he lives far and I'm hardly ever allowed away from home. All this stuff really depresses me and makes me feel more anxious than ever. It sucks more being a girl. I feel like if I "betrayed" my family, they'd make my siblings lives hell. My dad would blame my mum all her life for be turning out to be a "kafir". I'm just tired of pretending to be something I'm not, to the point where it is really started to mentally affect me.
✿ Bad news is: ✿
You cannot make people like, love, understand, validate,
accept, or be nice to you. You can't control them either.
✿ Good news is: ✿
It doesn't matter.
Topic: Hi