Hi!
I've checked this forum for quite a while and been thinking for a long time to join the forum. I'm from Sweden and I'm not that good in English so I'm sure that I will make lots of mistakes when writing, but hopefully you will understand the point anyway...
I was a convert to islam and was a muslim for about 13 years. I left islam 1 year ago, and it's not easy at all to come back to a normal life again.
To me livingin islam was a prison, physically as well as mentally. One reason I became a muslim was the social bonds, that they seemed to be close to each other, help and take care of each other, familylife was high valued, and that was something I lacked in my life.
Another reason was that I wanted to be a good person, with high moral standards. Instead, living as a muslim, that kind of islam I was involved with, made me to an immoral person, a person who lied to gain benefits from the society. I accepted steeling (it was concidered as a kind of "war booty", ha, ha), fraud, I abandoned family and friends, alienating me from the rest of the society, using double standards to judge other muslims and non-muslims. I learnt to hate other human beings and the non-muslim society, the western values. In short, I became a horrible person as a muslim, unrecognisable to myself.
Another thing was as a woman married to a hard core muslim arab. I had only 3 rights: to have a place to stay, the right to have clothes and the right to eat. Everything else I had to beg for. I wasn't allowed to have contact with my family, to go out doors, to have my own Money and a job, to choose my friends, in short to be independent. The same for my children, they weren't allowed to go outside by themselves, or having friends of their own choice, read Swedish Children books and so on. Every aspect of our life was under the control of my fanatic husband.
It took very long time to leave this, because how is someone suppose to leave such a relationship, with no money, no friends, no contact with the society around you. I spoke to other muslims about what a prison my life was, how hellish life was, not a singel one lifted a finger to help. Because there is no way anyone is going to get help from muslims! Islam doesn't solve problems, it creates problems. But finally I managed to leave,. Unfortunately my ex-husband managed to take my kids from me, at the moment they're in the middle east. So the struggle isn't finished yet.
I think the worst thing was the mental prison in islam. You know, when you are not able to discuss issues, to have an opposite opinion than everyone else, to question ridicule statements from imams and others. I missed freedom of thought and speech!
I don't want to hate people, as was expected when I was a muslim, it really was an ideology of hatred, the community where I was a part of. But, we humans are mostly just fragile creatures trying to survive. There is no point of hating, it ends just in destruction.
I appreciate this forum a lot. You are all so very clever and have so much knowledge. I've learnt a lot from reading your topics. And again, sorry for my not very elegant English!
Welcome! I hope your children return very soon.
Topic: Intro Coffee addict