Thank you everyone!!! I'm a little overwhelmed at how helpful everyone on this sight is!
JRG-
First, if you haven't already, head over to the
Bisexuality thread. Fascinating and thought provoking stuff - you are
far from alone!
Aha a whole thread on bisexuality... my life is one step closer to complete. This forum is freaking awesome seriously. Your rant is hilarious and I can really relate! Atleast I won't feel so bad when dropping the eff bomb now
Thank youu!
SUKI-
^ I'm not brave : ) I had to run off to another city to change my life, i abandoned everyone, so i was a bit of a coward really. Hey perhaps you could test the waters with your family, make some little remarks against islam to see how they respond, if they throw a wobbly and start casting out your jiins then you know there's no hope :/
x
LMAO jinns, that could actually happen :/ aha. Thats still brave, I'm so afraid of change I can't think of even abandoning anyone lol. I'm going to take your advice though slow and steady. Thankyouu!!!
Stephen-
Answer me this question: Would you be happy to simply allow your parents to plan your life for you and dictate how you behave, who you befriend, where you go, and what you do?
There comes a time in a man's life when he needs to strike out on his own. I believe this time is fast approaching.
To be honest its what I've grown up with and I know little else, but you're right things need to change. I just need to grow a pair and suck it up. Thank youu!
Village Idiot-
I'm not an ex-Muslim, but I am gay or bi-sexual (haven't decided yet). I don't talk to my family and haven't for many years as they don't accept my sexuality. I would like to feel some love from my family, but it's just not going to be. Hope you find an answer to your own family
I totally know what you mean by not knowing whether your gay or bisexual, when I'm crushing on a girl I become certain I'm just a lesbian in denial, depends on who I fancy at the time lol. I know bisexuality would be a problem regardless to faith, I hope things get better with your family! Thank you !
David-
Don't get married at your parents' behest.
All the rest of the shit will be easier to sort than that.
I know I don't plan to marry its just reminded me of how little time I have to make a decision.
NoToPrejudice-
So my advice would be to be cautious and plan things carefully. I made mistakes by doing things randomly and impulsively and suffered. If I were you I would try to defer the things by some excuse (white lies are aloud), until such time that you have completed your education and are financially independent and that you are mentally and emotionally in a better position to deal with the repercussions, which are to certain extent inevitable.
I know that it is difficult to sit on your secrets but I also know that there is always a time. There is no harm in coming up with excuses and delaying things like marriage than telling others the facts now.
We don't plan to fail but fail to plan. This is true at least in my case.
I would say don't rush into anything. You live in the UK and you are an educated person who knows rights of individuals.
Best wishes,
(I apologise in advance if my post caused any offence)
Your post didn't cause any offence at all!! I totally agree with all your advice. I think I'll wait it out until I have enough money to be self sufficient and be calm about it all. Thank you and you're right a few white lies might help out
Hash Brown-
I believe we now have the three confused musketeers.
haha I had no idea it was such a common screenname I'll have to stick around to get to know them.
Asbie -
I'd agree with David that marrying at their behest is NOT the way to sort this out. Get some space to think clearly, try and make a plan for yourself that you think can work, you can put into action, and will work for you. Let us know how its going. The people here are truly concerned, having gone through the same struggles, and an invaluable resource. Best of luck to you.
Planning is definitely the way forward!
Thank you so much, the fact people are truly concerned is actually touching lol I sound like a complete loser saying that but its true.
Three- thanks for the welcome
Cornflower-
But if it means that you are basically living a life of lies, having to pretend to pray, wear Muslim clothes, marry a Muslim in an arranged/semi-arranged marriage and so forth. I'm sorry, but "pretending" and going along that is shit advice. You only have one life, and yes you only have one family. But I would "sacrifice" my parents any day in order to live a free and happy life where you can be your true self. At some point or the other, most sane parents come to accept their children eventually even though they might keep their distance. Not all, but most. I would take my chances with that, but that is me personally.
You don't hold back lol I like that. I think I'll wait it out until I'm ready to 'sacrifice' my parents. I'll have to take my chances I guess. Thank youuu!
I feel so british thanking everyone loads but you guys are all absolute babes
!!