How to text a girl and get laid ASAP

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Topic: How to text a girl and get laid ASAP

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- Wally
- Ex-Muslim
- offline
How to text a girl and get laid ASAP
OP - July 28, 2014, 01:00 PM

I know the council of exMuslims are always occupied making witty jokes about Islam. You guys probably need some relief in your lives so I'm going to teach you how to get laid in under 1 minute.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hsMCFPviq4U
- xtremestr
- Devil's Advocate
- Ex-Muslim
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How to text a girl and get laid ASAP
Reply #1 - July 28, 2014, 01:08 PM

Oh what I thought the portrait of the video was a guy praying and I was really confused for about 3 seconds.

أشهد أن لا إله
- Jedi
- Director of Shariah Police
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How to text a girl and get laid ASAP
Reply #2 - July 28, 2014, 01:11 PM

I'm so not as cool or a s good looking as that cartoon guy. Would never work for me.

No free mixing of the sexes is permitted on these forums or via PM or the various chat groups that are operating.

Women must write modestly and all men must lower their case.

http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?425649-Have-some-Hayaa-%28modesty-shame%29-people!
- yeezevee
- Pub Regular
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How to text a girl and get laid ASAP
Reply #3 - July 28, 2014, 01:14 PM

Quote from: Jedi on July 28, 2014, 01:11 PM
I'm so not as cool or a s good looking as that cartoon guy. Would never work for me.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU Jedi? what is the problem??

Do not let silence become your legacy.. Question everything
I renounced my faith to become a kafir,
the beloved betrayed me and turned in to a Muslim
- xtremestr
- Devil's Advocate
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How to text a girl and get laid ASAP
Reply #4 - July 28, 2014, 01:18 PM

Quote from: Jedi on July 28, 2014, 01:11 PM
I'm so not as cool or a s good looking as that cartoon guy. Would never work for me.

That girl is hella cute; way out of your league.

أشهد أن لا إله
- Quod Sum Eris
- King of the
- Pub Regular
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How to text a girl and get laid ASAP
Reply #5 - July 28, 2014, 01:27 PM

This is how you text someone.

"It's Quod Sum Eris."

`But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
`Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
`How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
`You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
- Jedi
- Director of Shariah Police
- Ex-Muslim
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How to text a girl and get laid ASAP
Reply #6 - July 28, 2014, 02:09 PM

Quote from: xtremestr on July 28, 2014, 01:18 PM
That girl is hella cute; way out of your league.

I know. I'm waiting for Quod to comment on her 'blow job lips'.

No free mixing of the sexes is permitted on these forums or via PM or the various chat groups that are operating.

Women must write modestly and all men must lower their case.

http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?425649-Have-some-Hayaa-%28modesty-shame%29-people!
- Quod Sum Eris
- King of the
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How to text a girl and get laid ASAP
Reply #7 - July 28, 2014, 04:41 PM

I literately just texted someone on how their lips look like god himself made them specifically for the purpose of sucking cock.

`But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
`Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
`How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
`You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
- Wiselyskeptical
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How to text a girl and get laid ASAP
Reply #8 - July 28, 2014, 05:18 PM

Q that's a dangerous seesaw. They can be extremely offended or extremely turned on.... Ya never know.

Just like Johnny Flynn said, the breath I've taken and the one I must to go on.
- mubs_352
- Member
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How to text a girl and get laid ASAP
Reply #9 - July 28, 2014, 05:24 PM

Quod, did that work?

If so, who is this girl and whats her number!
- BerberElla
- Class A'sexual
- Creator Goddess
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How to text a girl and get laid ASAP
Reply #10 - July 29, 2014, 02:59 AM

Retarded video is fucking retarded.

Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
- Qtian
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How to text a girl and get laid ASAP
Reply #11 - July 29, 2014, 10:21 AM

Welcome back berbs

My mind runs, I can never catch it even if I get a head start.
- Kodanshi
- La solitude s'eprend de mon coeur
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How to text a girl and get laid ASAP
Reply #12 - July 29, 2014, 08:46 PM

Quote from: BerberElla on July 29, 2014, 02:59 AM
Retarded video is fucking retarded.

My thoughts were something along those lines, but not as deftly expressed.
- asbie
- Actually just a dude
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How to text a girl and get laid ASAP
Reply #13 - July 30, 2014, 05:41 AM

To me this video expresses the beauty of human choice. Human females sometimes want to procreate with a particular partner. That is why the dapper young gentleman in sunglasses was able to be successful in winning her attentions than the other gentleman who texted her earlier his life story or something. Just my 2 cents.

Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
how fuck works without shit??

Let's Play Chess!

harakaat, friend, RIP
- asbie
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How to text a girl and get laid ASAP
Reply #14 - July 30, 2014, 04:48 PM

Its so weird reading over your own drunk posts, and then realizing, yeah I AM THAT crazy dude.

Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
how fuck works without shit??

Let's Play Chess!

harakaat, friend, RIP
- suki
- Ex-Muslim
- offline
How to text a girl and get laid ASAP
Reply #15 - July 30, 2014, 05:39 PM

Oh i wont even go near the pc when im drunk, i have in the past totally destroyed firendships and potential relationships by saying dumb things while drunk, the last time i messed up this guy wanted to take me for a date, we'd known each other for years, i was very drunk when he asked so i text him back saying "ya know what, i always thought you were an asshole but now i think you are kinda ok" he got rid of me in an isntant :( reallllly liked him too lol ahhh well some people are touchy lol
- asbie
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How to text a girl and get laid ASAP
Reply #16 - July 30, 2014, 08:37 PM

Lol indeed.

Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
how fuck works without shit??

Let's Play Chess!

harakaat, friend, RIP
- ronald_odair
- Ex-Muslim
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How to text a girl and get laid ASAP
Reply #17 - July 31, 2014, 02:39 PM

Quote from: suki on July 30, 2014, 05:39 PM
Oh i wont even go near the pc when im drunk, i have in the past totally destroyed firendships and potential relationships by saying dumb things while drunk, the last time i messed up this guy wanted to take me for a date, we'd known each other for years, i was very drunk when he asked so i text him back saying "ya know what, i always thought you were an asshole but now i think you are kinda ok" he got rid of me in an isntant :( reallllly liked him too lol ahhh well some people are touchy lol

If a girl said that to me, I would laugh my head off.
- suki
- Ex-Muslim
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How to text a girl and get laid ASAP
Reply #18 - July 31, 2014, 02:50 PM

^So would i if a guy said that to me, i thought it was funny, i always tell it straight and get into trouble lol, he didn't share my silly humour so it was a lucky escape i guess so lol : )

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