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 Topic: Things that annoy me about going to the mosque

 (Read 3545 times)
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  • Things that annoy me about going to the mosque
     OP - July 20, 2014, 12:25 AM
    Hey peoples
    This is my second ever post on this site and ive decided it's gonna be a rant type thingamajiggy about shit I hate about the mosque so here goes.
    • How everyone is cramped together especially during jummah, these people fit themselves into the tiniest of gaps leaving almost no room to move or even breathe.
    • The Friday prayer speech is the most annoying thing ever , the imaams always talking a load of sh** about how fasting for 18 hours  is really healthy or about how we should always give charity especially to mosques (cue the old dudes carrying buckets around to collect your hard earned cash)
    • The carpets are always covered in a layer of crap that just sticks to your forehead
    • when the guy in fronts ass accidentally touches your face as you try to either get up or go down (don't lie you know its happened at least once)
    And finally the separation of our muslimah sisters Cry Cry Cry Cry I mean what if I start getting 'distracted' by all that male sweat and ass it'll be Mohammeds fault if i turn gay.
  • Things that annoy me about going to the mosque
     Reply #1 - July 20, 2014, 12:28 AM
    Quote
    when the guy in fronts ass accidentally touches your face as you try to either get up or go down (don't lie you know its happened at least once)


     Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy

    Yes indeed. 

    This is one the funniest posts I've read, and that includes Yeez's posts. Thank you.
  • Things that annoy me about going to the mosque
     Reply #2 - July 20, 2014, 12:32 AM
    What annoys me about mosque is the stories they tell, oh my God they are ridiculous. However some of the stories are hilarious.
    Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. - Terry Pratchett
  • Things that annoy me about going to the mosque
     Reply #3 - July 20, 2014, 12:38 AM
    I know someone who after coming back up from prostration, got his head stuck in the qamees of the person in front.  He then started to writhe around, which made the person in front of him lose his balance and fall, ass first, on his head.
    "Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent.
     Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent.
     Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil?
     Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God." - Epicurus
  • Things that annoy me about going to the mosque
     Reply #4 - July 20, 2014, 12:40 AM
    Is he still alive?
    Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. - Terry Pratchett
  • Things that annoy me about going to the mosque
     Reply #5 - July 20, 2014, 12:52 AM
    Quote from: ConfusedKhan on July 20, 2014, 12:25 AM
    • How everyone is cramped together especially during jummah, these people fit themselves into the tiniest of gaps leaving almost no room to move or even breathe.



    The women's side are always full because we usually get a very small section of the masjid :p It doesn't help when there's a ton of kids, trying to run around.
    Taraweeh prayers are the absolute worse.

    Quote from: ConfusedKhan on July 20, 2014, 12:25 AM
    • when the guy in fronts ass accidentally touches your face as you try to either get up or go down (don't lie you know its happened at least once)

     Cry
    turnipovich
  • Things that annoy me about going to the mosque
     Reply #6 - July 20, 2014, 01:05 AM
    Quote from: Hash Brown on July 20, 2014, 12:40 AM
    Is he still alive?



    Yes, it wasn't serious or anything like that (I guess I worded it wrong), it was more embarrassing than anything else.
    "Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent.
     Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent.
     Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil?
     Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God." - Epicurus
  • Things that annoy me about going to the mosque
     Reply #7 - July 20, 2014, 01:13 AM
    Quote from: Naz on July 20, 2014, 12:38 AM
    I know someone who after coming back up from prostration, got his head stuck in the qamees of the person in front.  He then started to writhe around, which made the person in front of him lose his balance and fall, ass first, on his head.

    Oh my Undecided I wonder how others reacted
    turnipovich
  • Things that annoy me about going to the mosque
     Reply #8 - July 20, 2014, 01:17 AM
    Quote from: Descent on July 20, 2014, 12:28 AM
    Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy

    Yes indeed.  

    This is one the funniest posts I've read, and that includes Yeez's posts. Thank you.

    Thank you  Smiley
    Quote from: Naz on July 20, 2014, 12:38 AM
    I know someone who after coming back up from prostration, got his head stuck in the qamees of the person in front.  He then started to writhe around, which made the person in front of him lose his balance and fall, ass first, on his head.

    Haha grin12 Cheesy Cheesy the same thing happened to me about 2 years ago during taraweeh lol luckily I got my head out in time before any falling.
    Quote from: Mia on July 20, 2014, 12:52 AM
    The women's side are always full because we usually get a very small section of the masjid :p It doesn't help when there's a ton of kids, trying to run around.
    Taraweeh prayers are the absolute worse.
     Cry

    Aaw feel sorry for you
  • Things that annoy me about going to the mosque
     Reply #9 - July 20, 2014, 08:59 AM
    Quote
    The carpets are always covered in a layer of crap that just sticks to your forehead


    Can't spell the Welsh but it sounds like achavee!

    Do mosques use really cheap plastic based carpets?

    No deep cleaning routines by the sound of it!

    Health and safety, fire, overcrowding rules?

    Close them down as major hazards.
    When you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it.


    A.A. Milne,

    "We cannot slaughter each other out of the human impasse"
  • Things that annoy me about going to the mosque
     Reply #10 - July 20, 2014, 07:54 PM
    The constant belching by the person next to you during taraweeh.
  • Things that annoy me about going to the mosque
     Reply #11 - July 20, 2014, 08:20 PM
    I hated it when the lines were marked out so narrowly, they were more suited to people who were only 4ft tall. I had to wait for the guy in front of me to go fully into prostration and lift his heels off the ground so I had enough room. More often then not, the sod had rotting feet and the smell was just off putting. Several times I just 'hovered' because I didn't want to touch the area his feet had been in. Sometimes you feel like you have to do wudu after doing salah rather than before.
  • Things that annoy me about going to the mosque
     Reply #12 - July 20, 2014, 10:07 PM
    I hate the shite wudhu facilities most mosques have for women... That is, if they even allow women.
    Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

    The sleeper has awakened -  Dune

    Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day Give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish!
  • Things that annoy me about going to the mosque
     Reply #13 - July 20, 2014, 10:08 PM
    All the damn kids running around in the women's section. Don't these people ever discipline their children?'
    Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

    The sleeper has awakened -  Dune

    Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day Give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish!
  • Things that annoy me about going to the mosque
     Reply #14 - July 21, 2014, 06:40 PM
    the pong in the carpet
  • Things that annoy me about going to the mosque
     Reply #15 - July 21, 2014, 06:42 PM
    The Muslim part of going to the mosque.
    My mind runs, I can never catch it even if I get a head start.
  • Things that annoy me about going to the mosque
     Reply #16 - July 21, 2014, 07:55 PM
    Quote from: ConfusedKhan on July 20, 2014, 12:25 AM
    • when the guy in fronts ass accidentally touches your face as you try to either get up or go down (don't lie you know its happened at least once)


    Cheesy

    I hate how crowded and shitty the women's quarters are. I hate the smell of wet socks, sweaty feat, whatever the fuck that nasty mosque smell is. The annoying kids running around, screaming and being annoying. 
  • Things that annoy me about going to the mosque
     Reply #17 - July 21, 2014, 09:31 PM
    like the fake new car smell, eau de mosque?
    When you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it.


    A.A. Milne,

    "We cannot slaughter each other out of the human impasse"
  • Things that annoy me about going to the mosque
     Reply #18 - July 25, 2014, 07:04 AM
    Discussion of all these bums in faces makes me wonder - is prayer a ritualised copy of something?
    When you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it.


    A.A. Milne,

    "We cannot slaughter each other out of the human impasse"
  • Things that annoy me about going to the mosque
     Reply #19 - July 25, 2014, 07:07 AM
    As the obvious answer to that is self evident I have to ask you to elaborate.
    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • Things that annoy me about going to the mosque
     Reply #20 - July 25, 2014, 07:15 AM
    I can't really!

    It is just that we are mammals and primates, our sense of smell is well developed, are we looking at ritualised forms of sniffing people in certain areas, and what of the movements in prayer?
    When you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it.


    A.A. Milne,

    "We cannot slaughter each other out of the human impasse"
  • Things that annoy me about going to the mosque
     Reply #21 - July 25, 2014, 07:25 AM
    Huh ?  lol

    anyways i dont think i could step foot in a mosque again, ive totally forgot how to pray lol and everyine watches you mess up
  • Things that annoy me about going to the mosque
     Reply #22 - July 25, 2014, 08:59 AM
    I propose that religious rituals of all forms are primarily sensory - smell, bells, movements, singing, rhythm, burnt offerings, smoke.

    Words, explanations are much later and are actually all just so stories.

    There is probably a huge amount of bonding happening in a mosque, probably male, possibly quite similar to Welsh male voice choirs, rugby matches and miners having communal baths, singing and going to the pub together.

    It should not be difficult to invent new rituals - we have plenty of examples from around the world.

    A main issue repeated here often is leaving behind the rituals and the people they have bonded together.

    Maybe it is as Baden Powell put it - inventing new traditions.
    When you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it.


    A.A. Milne,

    "We cannot slaughter each other out of the human impasse"
  • Things that annoy me about going to the mosque
     Reply #23 - July 25, 2014, 10:19 AM
    I didn't often go to the mosque.
    But I never understood why the room of women is always big 1/4 of those of men. Is really unfair.
    Moreover in the women section there's always a bunch of kids making noises. It's really annoying.

    I went like 5 times to the friday's pray. And yes, the speech of the imam is really annoying. They say the same things each time. Really I would like to understand those imam and those shiukh. What do they have in mind? What do they think?
    They always say to people to do stuff that they don't do. So hypocrite
    Every Morning We Are Born Again.
    What We Do Today Is What Matters Most.
  • Things that annoy me about going to the mosque
     Reply #24 - July 25, 2014, 02:56 PM
    Well the mosque we go to is considerably nice because it's made by a family who's pretty rich.
    Nice carpeting (even on women's side), good modern bathrooms and a good dining facility...

    Not a lot of people go to it because as said it's made by one family and their relatives, also it's a Ahmadia mosque but my parents don't care as long as they don't have to go to the mainly-Sunni mosque across town.

    I try my hardest to come in late so I won't have to pray next other people but they purposely move out of their praying line so I can be "accompanied" by others. No getting around it :(.

    We don't have too many small children since nobody new comes to the mosque so all the kids that were little are a bit older.
    Just like Johnny Flynn said, the breath I've taken and the one I must to go on.
  • Things that annoy me about going to the mosque
     Reply #25 - July 25, 2014, 03:52 PM


    Seriously though, fuck that stink.
    أشهد أن لا إله
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