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Theme Changer

 Topic: Shit Muslims say to other Muslims.

 (Read 22208 times)
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  • Shit Muslims say to other Muslims.
     Reply #60 - September 06, 2014, 11:22 PM
    From some important mullah from India; "Islam will conquer the world. Now, cover up your tattoos."
    Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

    The sleeper has awakened -  Dune

    Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day Give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish!
  • Shit Muslims say to other Muslims.
     Reply #61 - September 07, 2014, 05:53 AM
    "Enta salet(Did you pray) el fajr/sob7/dohr/3asr/maghreb/eisha/tarawee7?" Up to like 10 times a day depending on how much free time they have.
    --
    When I say I was too tired to pray el fajr.
    "BAS EL SALAT KHAIRON MEN AL NAWM(But prayer is better than sleep!)"
    "Dah el hat2oolo le rabena yom el 2eyama?!(Is that what you're going to tell Allah on judgement day?!)"
    --
    When I say I'm not going to visit to visit someone who is resting at his home after having an operation done on his spine 'just to check they're okay', but will instead call them on the phone and say hi and visit them in a few days when they're doing better.
    "BAS ZYARET EL MAREED WAGEB(But visiting the patient is a duty!)"
    "TAB 3ALA EL 2A2AL ROO7 5OD 7ASANAT(At least go take some 7ASANAT)"
    --
    Lastly, whenever someone's getting backed into a corner in an argument
    "TAB EL RASOOL/QURAN BEY2OOL X AHO WALA ENTA MOSH MOSLEM( Wink)(WELL THE HADITHS/QURAN SAYS X RIGHT THERE OR ARE YOU NOT A MUSLIM?!)"
    أشهد أن لا إله
  • Shit Muslims say to other Muslims.
     Reply #62 - September 07, 2014, 08:36 AM
    This must be masri dialect, I read it in masri dialect Cheesy
    "The healthiest people I know are those who are the first to label themselves fucked up." - three
  • Shit Muslims say to other Muslims.
     Reply #63 - September 07, 2014, 09:17 AM
    Quote from: Cornflower on September 07, 2014, 08:36 AM
    This must be masri dialect, I read it in masri dialect Cheesy


    Indeed it is. People get mocked for saying Egyptians speak "Egyptian" but I honestly think calling Egyptian dialect "Arabic" is REALLY stretching it.
    أشهد أن لا إله
  • Shit Muslims say to other Muslims.
     Reply #64 - September 07, 2014, 03:52 PM
    "Did you pray?" "Why not yet?" I get shit like this every fucking day from my parents.
    Or "I always pray that God gives you good friends because so7ba sal7a (right friends) really helps a lot".
    So if I don't believe or I eat carrots it's because my friends do so?  wacko

    Another thing that I hate is that they say everything is Shaytan's fault. I mean you have your own brain, you choose what to do !! This is really stupid!

    Or like Salafi are not Muslim, they're wrong. They're too much.
    Why do you watch movies or listen to non muslim music? That's haram.
    Everything's haram!!
    Every Morning We Are Born Again.
    What We Do Today Is What Matters Most.
  • Shit Muslims say to other Muslims.
     Reply #65 - September 07, 2014, 08:11 PM
    Quote
    ... Salafi... Everything's haram!!


    Cheesy
  • Shit Muslims say to other Muslims.
     Reply #66 - November 24, 2014, 05:36 PM
    Quote
    Our prophet Adam 3alahi al salam is said to be at least 60 meters tall. Today the tallest man is less than 3 meters. This is evolution. Allahu a3lam  dance

    - Danish Muslim university student of molecular biology

     wacko
    Danish Never-Moose adopted by the kind people on the CEMB-forum
    Ex-Muslim chat (Unaffliated with CEMB). Safari users: Use "#ex-muslims" as the channel name. CEMB chat thread.
  • Shit Muslims say to other Muslims.
     Reply #67 - November 27, 2014, 11:27 AM
    My Muslim friend to his Muslim girlfriend

    "Honey? Look at this record player."

    "Yes?"

    "Well... It is Christmas soon... Just saying."

    *Girlfriend looks at price tab*

    "We are Muslims. We don't celebrate Christmas!"

    Grin
    Danish Never-Moose adopted by the kind people on the CEMB-forum
    Ex-Muslim chat (Unaffliated with CEMB). Safari users: Use "#ex-muslims" as the channel name. CEMB chat thread.
  • Shit Muslims say to other Muslims.
     Reply #68 - November 27, 2014, 12:17 PM
    the real Islam and practice is being by ISIS,the rest are taqiyaz,evolution make the rest too ISIS.
  • Shit Muslims say to other Muslims.
     Reply #69 - November 27, 2014, 12:25 PM
    Don't u use "miswaak"?its Sunnah...put Ur pajama above feets,its sunnah...when u go to wash room,right step ist,start recitation of ths dowa......when u sit on,pressure on ur right foot..(20 pages article,written by some mozzart,how to shit in washroom,according to mohd)...hey mohd used to shit like tht,hey mohd used to sex like tht,hey mohd used eat like ths,hey.............................OH,Damn shitty religion..
  • Shit Muslims say to other Muslims.
     Reply #70 - November 30, 2014, 02:00 AM
    We don't need any other book but the Qur'an.
    Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,
    there is a field. I'll meet you there.
    (Rumi)
  • Shit Muslims say to other Muslims.
     Reply #71 - November 30, 2014, 11:36 AM
    @ Nik I remember that mentality all too well.
    No free mixing of the sexes is permitted on these forums or via PM or the various chat groups that are operating.

    Women must write modestly and all men must lower their case.

    http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?425649-Have-some-Hayaa-%28modesty-shame%29-people!
  • Shit Muslims say to other Muslims.
     Reply #72 - November 30, 2014, 07:42 PM
    LOL @ Nikolaj  Cheesy Cheesy

    My mum all the time when she s talking bout something serious, like politics, she would say things the prophet said and things from the quran XD I am like: what does it have to do with politics...
    Dogs never bite me - just humans. ~ M. Monroe

    Religions seem to cause more grief than good.

    Exmuslim Chat
  • Shit Muslims say to other Muslims.
     Reply #73 - December 25, 2014, 12:16 PM
    The cause of all problems in the Middle East: "We have turned away from Allah and now Allah is punishing us as a result..."
    How to save these people: "Allah does not change people until they change themselves (surat al raad don't remember the ayah)"

    ...and my favourite "America is making the shia stronger in the middle east to destroy the true Muslims (i.e the sunnis)..."
    I love listening to my family's political talks...
    "Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful."
  • Shit Muslims say to other Muslims.
     Reply #74 - December 26, 2014, 01:03 AM
    "You're suffering from mental illness/depression? certainly this is because of your lack of faith and your prayers are not strong enough. Pray this dua every day, and then you won't suffer from mental illness anymore."
    And when you haven't gotten better, then clearly it is the shaitan and you are trying not to get better because you prefer being sick and under the influence of the shaitan.

    Relationship problems?
    "Whatever you do, don't leave your husband, your jannah is under his feet only." Doesn't matter what he's doing, or how bad he's screwing you up emotionally.
    Inform them that that's not the actual quote, "well clearly you just don't understand Islam."

    And the classic "u r emerican? do u lyk fuk? mery me, I am in your love. ok we r married now [no, we're not, where did you get that idea you stupid twat?] you bring me to usa?"

    Some variations (copy and pasted from my facebook messages):
    u such a v.nyc grl rather then otherz
    When i seen your profile i m feeling happy when i seen u
    [Uh oh, I know where this is going, so I preemptively delete him]
    How Are You?
    U know i am syed Ahle sunni Aale Rasool U remove me why?
    I really disopnted.Allah bless u sorry fiaman ALLAH tc just check my conversion or id..JAZZAK ALLAH ALLAH HAFIZ.
    I HAVE ALLAH.!!

    Another random dude I'd never talked to:
    i love you..i love you..i love you..i love you..i love you..i love you..i love you..i love you..i love you..i love you..i love you..i love you..i love you..i love you..
    i wanna be your husband, also wanna baby from u...
    i love you.

    Another one:
    I want you Ok. I want get sex with you ok I will never hurt you we can get sex slowly.
    I think you too want have children in future.  You want some boy tell you mother. I want have kids with you. I want kiss you and get sex with you. I want to love you and care about you. I want you so much.
    You are pretty. And I can help you stepby step to love sex ok. But we need to try. I promise I will love you from my heart.

    And then this guy:
    marry with me i need you i sex with u only plx
    plz marry me
    are you have not sex or not want to sex every body not want to sex but the sperm are blost sperm want to out of body becuz more & more sperm prdeus do it nature or you a machine that chat with me
    [Not sure what that even means, but I blocked him anyway]
    Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for I have a sonic screwdriver, a tricorder, and a Type 2 phaser.
  • Shit Muslims say to other Muslims.
     Reply #75 - December 26, 2014, 01:53 PM
    'Sister you shouldn't shop there. It is owned by the kuffar. They worship the cow! At least in the other supermarkets the owners are culturally Christian, like Lidl for example.' - My convert friend regarding a lovely Asian shop near my flat, EVERY TIME she visits me. Has no idea about my apostasy though so will have to suck it up lol.

    'Sister dear when you said the shahada you accepted everything in Islam, including the polygamy.'

    To me regarding my shia husband 'You should take good care not to listen to him, the most important thing is your religion.' BUT at dinner time: 'Shouldn't you be cooking already for your husband, remember he is your path to jannah' (or something).

    To my husband: 'salam alaikum' and behind his back 'sister are you sure he will not lead you astray?? This is why Allah swt says a woman should marry a man of the same religion. The path of the sunnah is the best!' Even though the same person knew I was a Quranist.
    Don't damn me when I speak my mind, 'cause silence isn't golden when I'm holding it inside. - Guns n' Roses

    3 koiraa 1 kissa <3
  • Shit Muslims say to other Muslims.
     Reply #76 - December 28, 2014, 10:26 AM
    "You wear a hijab and you do (insert unconventional act)?!!", and to a lesser extent "You have a beard and you do (insert unconventinal act)?!!"
    Religion - The hot potato that looked delicious but ended up burning your mouth!

    Knock your head on the ground, don't be miserly in your prayers, listen to your Sidi Sheikh, Allahu Akbar! - Lounes Matoub
  • Shit Muslims say to other Muslims.
     Reply #77 - December 28, 2014, 10:41 AM
    "Say Allah kussum broo"
  • Shit Muslims say to other Muslims.
     Reply #78 - January 02, 2015, 11:16 AM
    *
    You are the Universe, Expressing itself as a Human for a little while- Eckhart Tolle
  • Shit Muslims say to other Muslims.
     Reply #79 - January 02, 2015, 11:44 AM
    ^ I'll never forget the day i came home to my ex having snapped in half my entire music cd collection that i had accumulated over many years prior to converting to Islam  :(   
  • Shit Muslims say to other Muslims.
     Reply #80 - January 02, 2015, 11:54 AM
    Quote from: Ishtar90 on January 02, 2015, 11:16 AM
    This was said by my mother while I was blowing on a hot spoon of soup: "there's a Hadith by the prophet that says blowing on hot spoons can give you cancer in the esophagus, so stop it"  wacko
    I told her it was bullshit and she yelled at me to stop insulting the prophet  Cheesy


    I don't think that such a Hadith exits, since they didn't know about cancer back in the days. You could scare her by saying that she goes to hell for spreading a wrong Hadit  Cheesy - and there is no mercy for it. I pretty sure that such a Hadit about wrong Hadits really exits. But I don't know the source.
  • Shit Muslims say to other Muslims.
     Reply #81 - January 02, 2015, 11:56 AM
    My ex did something similar where he deleted all my music from my laptop, as it wasn't islamic enough for him, and even went as far as to delete my YouTube channel where I had uploaded many of my art projects with music in them  finmad
    You are the Universe, Expressing itself as a Human for a little while- Eckhart Tolle
  • Shit Muslims say to other Muslims.
     Reply #82 - January 02, 2015, 11:59 AM
    ElToro - I tried explaining it to her, my sweet mother  Cheesy she kept insisting and then I asked her about the source of the Hadith, and she was like "uhm the neighbor next door told me. Her husband told her" etc  Cheesy
    You are the Universe, Expressing itself as a Human for a little while- Eckhart Tolle
  • Shit Muslims say to other Muslims.
     Reply #83 - January 02, 2015, 01:41 PM
    My parents once believed eating fish and milk together will cause Vitiligo. Apparently, it is an old Arab myth. There was a hadith from Mo. I told them it does not automatically become true if there is a hadith about it. After some consideration, they agreed, and we lived happily ever after... aside from the fact they'd disown me if they learned of my apostasy.
  • Shit Muslims say to other Muslims.
     Reply #84 - January 02, 2015, 02:01 PM
    Shaykha Cornflower has arrived to enlighten the poor souls of CEMB. There are narrations that forbid Muslims blowing into their morsel, however no threat of disease or cancer. You will be sinning, though, and it might lead you to being punished in hell for such a despicable act. There are several narrations with very stern and serious threats of a definite punishment in hell for those who lie about Mo. "Lying" here implies spreading "narrations" about him which are false, even if it was unknowingly and in "good faith".
    "The healthiest people I know are those who are the first to label themselves fucked up." - three
  • Shit Muslims say to other Muslims.
     Reply #85 - January 02, 2015, 02:09 PM
    Holy FSM  Cheesy
    You are the Universe, Expressing itself as a Human for a little while- Eckhart Tolle
  • Shit Muslims say to other Muslims.
     Reply #86 - January 02, 2015, 02:33 PM
    Shaykha Cornflower can you enlight me about another Hadith:

    "Educate yourself even if it means you have to go to China."

    This Hadith spread around the internet, but in my opinion it doesn't fit to the rest of Islam. Educate yourself and Islam?

    Saif Rahman wrote in his book that this Hadith is wrong and can not be found in any Islamic literature. Do you know something about it?
  • Shit Muslims say to other Muslims.
     Reply #87 - January 02, 2015, 02:56 PM
    Actually, that is a completely fabricated hadeeth, not found in any of the books. Not even those dedicated to "fabricated narrations" (lol). I guess it's just a traditional saying that has somehow been mistook for a hadeeth, and surely it happened perhaps recently among the laypeople thus explaining why it isn't even in the hadeeth literature.

    But yeah, when Mo spoke about knowledge he did NOT mean knowledge in general but religious knowledge in particular. For example how to clean your ass after taking a dump, what vaginal discharge is najis or not, and how many times and in what manner you should run between Safa and Marwa. Grin
    "The healthiest people I know are those who are the first to label themselves fucked up." - three
  • Shit Muslims say to other Muslims.
     Reply #88 - January 02, 2015, 03:28 PM
    Allah is testing you
  • Shit Muslims say to other Muslims.
     Reply #89 - January 02, 2015, 03:38 PM
    Qayamat ni nishaaniyan (signs of judgement day) loool
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