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- TomDickJihadis
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OP - April 14, 2014, 12:26 PM

Hello CEMBers

I did join a few years back, but forgot my username/password/all of you (was never very prolific), so I thought I would start afresh.

I stopped being Muslim well over a decade ago, although for me, there was no big 'eureka' moment, more a series of slow realisations (which I'm still making now). I suppose if there was a eureka moment, or a moment when I couldn't deny what I truly felt anymore, was when my family dragged me to do Hajj after divorcing my ex, in a desperate attempt to purify & de-sin me. I still find that a little hilarious.

I come from an extremely conservative and insular community & on the whole, have been avoiding it for a long time. My relationship with my family is sketchy at best, and of late has been pretty appalling. For the first time ever, my sisters are no longer talking to me & I find that very difficult to deal with, as we'd previously just let the big white elephant hover in the room rather than pay it any attention.

So, in a nutshell, it's all catching up with me years & years after leaving the fold. Am wondering how others cope with the isolation, the digs at you, all that nice stuff we get subjected to. After years of not having it get to me, am alarmed & surprised it is doing so in such a phenomenal way now.

Oh, & hi again CEMB *waves*
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Reply #1 - April 14, 2014, 01:35 PM

Welcome back, whoever you were. If you can remember your username we'll merge the two accounts.

"Befriend them not, Oh murtads, and give them neither parrot nor bunny." - happymurtad's advice on trolls.
- TomDickJihadis
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Reply #2 - April 14, 2014, 01:40 PM

I was amsterdammed or amsterdamned or amsteredamned or amster-damned. Argh, something like that! If you find me though, can I keep this name, pretty please, as I will be able to remember it!
- Cheetah
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Reply #3 - April 14, 2014, 01:45 PM

Yeah, no problem. I'll see if one of the admins can merge the two accounts under this name later. Meanwhile, here's a parrot.

"Befriend them not, Oh murtads, and give them neither parrot nor bunny." - happymurtad's advice on trolls.
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Reply #4 - April 14, 2014, 02:17 PM

Hello TomDickJihadis,

Im sorry you feel alone. I lost my faith a year ago, and am married to a mulslima, and have a young family. i have not told my wife the truth, since i do not want to lose, my family, as i really love my family.

Since i still act like a muslim, and most of my frieds are muslims, i am constantly in the company of people who justify their morality through islam. the more i hear their conversations, the more rediculous i think their arguments are.
sometimes i long to have a conversation with someone about all the flaws in Islam, and how good i feel knowing that i wont be going to hell.

sometimes all you need i one person who gets what you are about, who you can speak to about it.
I hope you find that soemone.

A perfectly just God who sentences his imperfect creation to infinite punishment for finite sins is impossible
- TomDickJihadis
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Reply #5 - April 14, 2014, 02:25 PM

Thank you, aside. I know how you feel. Before I got the courage to change & leave I felt so trapped & forced into living a lie, which I found unbearable. In the end I had to choose between being true to myself & having a family. Either way, it's a losing game. Such a shame things are the way that they are.

I hope I find (at least one!) person that can truly understand me, I fear I will not though. I wish you luck, strength & ultimate happiness in what must be tough times.
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Reply #6 - April 14, 2014, 02:42 PM

Mate, you will. You've already found us here and there are ex-muslims everywhere. There are also ex-muslim meet-ups that happen every now and then.

Welcome to CEMB (again).

`But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
`Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
`How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
`You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
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Reply #7 - April 14, 2014, 02:48 PM

I dont know if i will every tell my family.

So far ive told myself that living a lie if fine, I live how i want, and other than the occassional question from my wife regarding why i dont read salaah, i get left to it. the thing is i get on really well with my wife. And so far ive been able to live fairly happily like this. the thing that worries me is the desire to be more open about my new belief system my start getting to me later on in life.

the only thing i dont get to do is drinnk alchohol, and i tried it last year, and didnt really like the taste. sometimes i think maybe i should find a drinking buddy, and find out why social drinking is so popular.

I agree with what you say, regarding it being a losing game either way. im just trying to figure out which is the lesser of the two evils, losing my family, or not being totally open about my belief.

A perfectly just God who sentences his imperfect creation to infinite punishment for finite sins is impossible
- TomDickJihadis
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Reply #8 - April 14, 2014, 02:54 PM

Thanks, I hope so too, & look forward to any meet-ups I make it to.

And thanks all for the parrots. I love parrots
- Quod Sum Eris
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Reply #9 - April 14, 2014, 02:56 PM

Depends on taste. Some drinks I wouldn't touch if you paid me.

`But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
`Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
`How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
`You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
- TomDickJihadis
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Reply #10 - April 14, 2014, 02:58 PM

Quote from: aside on April 14, 2014, 02:48 PM
I dont know if i will every tell my family.

So far ive told myself that living a lie if fine, I live how i want, and other than the occassional question from my wife regarding why i dont read salaah, i get left to it. the thing is i get on really well with my wife. And so far ive been able to live fairly happily like this. the thing that worries me is the desire to be more open about my new belief system my start getting to me later on in life.

the only thing i dont get to do is drinnk alchohol, and i tried it last year, and didnt really like the taste. sometimes i think maybe i should find a drinking buddy, and find out why social drinking is so popular.

I agree with what you say, regarding it being a losing game either way. im just trying to figure out which is the lesser of the two evils, losing my family, or not being totally open about my belief.

It isn't easy, I hope it's easier for you than it was for me. I hope your wife understands & you can stay together.

Have to say I took to drinking like the proverbial fish to water! Although I was severely disappointed to find that red wine tastes nothing like ribena, as I'd imagined. I persevered though & am now a bit of a lush. Booze is great, and the best hangover cure is a bacon sandwich (can't believe I made it to 25 without bacon sandwiches - I missed out!).

Best of luck
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Reply #11 - April 14, 2014, 05:19 PM

I've never had a hangover in my life. Must be the Irish blood.

`But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
`Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
`How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
`You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
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Reply #12 - April 14, 2014, 11:58 PM

Welcome back TomDickJihadis, have a rabbit!

Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
how fuck works without shit??

Let's Play Chess!

harakaat, friend, RIP
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Reply #13 - April 15, 2014, 12:04 AM

Quote from: Cheetah on April 14, 2014, 01:45 PM
Yeah, no problem. I'll see if one of the admins can merge the two accounts under this name later. Meanwhile, here's a parrot.

Account merges are a bit of a nuisance (have to manually run db queries). I have the relevant voodoo stashed somewhere if it's needed.

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Reply #14 - April 15, 2014, 02:32 AM

Quote from: Quod Sum Eris on April 14, 2014, 05:19 PM
I've never had a hangover in my life. Must be the Irish blood.

Nope. I never had one, either. Not Irish.

Don't let Hitler have the street.
- TomDickJihadis
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Reply #15 - April 15, 2014, 12:55 PM

Um, I'm not particularly bothered about merging, but don't want to get into trouble for having two account, even if I can't get into my other one anymore.

I'm very jealous of you lot that don't get hangovers, I really suffer AND I have Irish blood too, so feel a little hard done by!

Thanks for the rabbit & parrot. What's the story behind the animal gif things anyway? I like them, but where are the cats?
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Reply #16 - April 15, 2014, 02:04 PM

Now that you mention it, we should have cat ones.

`But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
`Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
`How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
`You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
- TomDickJihadis
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Reply #17 - April 15, 2014, 04:37 PM

Isn't that what the internet was made for?
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Reply #18 - April 15, 2014, 05:07 PM
- Quod Sum Eris
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Reply #19 - April 15, 2014, 05:21 PM

I thought the internet was made for porn?

`But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
`Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
`How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
`You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
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Reply #20 - April 15, 2014, 06:16 PM

Indeed, that was what it was made for

Whens your porno coming out Quod

"I Knew who I was this morning, but I've changed a few times since then." Alice in wonderland

"This is the only heaven we have how dare you make it a hell" Dr Marlene Winell
- TomDickJihadis
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Reply #21 - April 15, 2014, 06:35 PM

I'll stick to the internet cats, rather than the internet porn!

I've had one of those days today & my cats are ignoring me
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