Evolution
Reply #56 - September 03, 2013, 03:30 AM
Fifty thousand years before Allah created the heavens and the Earth, he created the pen. And he commanded it to write everything that would occur until the Day of Judgment.
Pen!!
Y’ y’es M’lord?
Have you finished writing the transmission I sent you about the creation of Adam yet?
No, not yet, my lord.
Well why not??
Well, your holiness, I was looking over the creation of Adam, and I couldn’t help but notice that his structure and genetic make up seem incredibly similar to that of other primates you were planning on making.
What do you mean?
Well, you are planning on creating earlier hominid species that are all related, then you are planning on making Adam appear as though he is related to them as well. You are also planning on introducing them into the world in sequence.
Yeah, so? What’s your point?
Well, m’lord, don’t you think that upon finding evidence like this, some humans might come to the conclusion that Adam evolved from earlier primate ancestors?
Why in my name would they think that?
Well, your sublime holiness, you’ve already planned to make life on earth appear as though it has evolved. You don’t really say much about evolution in your holy book, but if you want people to think that Adam is an independent, miraculous creation that has nothing to do with the evolutionary process, why create so much evidence that leans in that direction? I mean look at these species you are creating: homo hibilis, homo erectus, homo ergaster! Look at the fossils human beings will end up finding. Don’t you think this will all just confuse them?
Why absolutely not, pen. I will reveal in my book that Adam was created from potter’s clay and I will have my prophet teach humans that Eve was created from his rib. He will teach them that Adam was 60 cubits in height, and that mankind has been decreasing in stature ever since. I’m God. Why would it be so hard to believe I could do that?
Well, M’lord, you don’t seem to be making any of the evidence point to that. I mean, look at this, you put fossils of hominid species exactly where they would need to be if humans had evolved from a primate ancestor in Africa. You made humans and other primates share well over 95% of their DNA and genetic features. You made Neanderthals and humans appear to be direct cousins, even closer than lions and tigers? Why would you do all this, God? Aren’t you afraid that humans might see all this evidence and get confused? What if they start to doubt your messenger?
No, no, human beings with strong faith won’t doubt anything. I’ll give them plenty of reason to believe.
Oh, so will you make fossils of human beings that are 60 cubits tall, and make the stature of humans continually decrease as the fossil record progresses?
No!
Umm, will you give human beings a genetic make up that seems completely independent and separate from that of other primates?
No!
Will you amend this creation of Adam so that there are no unnecessary, residual traits that appear to be relics of a non-human ancestor?
No!
Well then how will humans come to know that they were individually and miraculously created? How will they save themselves from eternal torture if they happen to doubt that you created Adam as an independent, miraculous event? The evidence you are creating just does not seem to point to that, God.
We went over this already, pen. I will have my messenger tell them a story in a language that only 4% of humanity can understand. A story that appears to contradict the evidence and that must be re-interpreted and explained away by scholars as human knowledge increases. Some scholars will say that my story is literal ( Yasir Qadhi ) and others will say that it is all a metaphor. (Usama Hassan). But they’ll have to believe MY story that I tell them in order to go to heaven.
What? that’s it? That's your plan?
That’s it. That's my plan.
And what if people sincerely doubt these stories, once they come across the mountains of evidence you have created that leads them the other way? Will you be oft-forgiving and most merciful towards them?
No, I will not be oft forgiving and most merciful if someone doubts my messages because of all that stuff you just said. I’ll burn them in hell for disbelieving!!
What!!?? But God, we can change all of this right now. It doesn’t have to be this way. We can make the evidence match your story, that way no one has to doubt you and no one has to burn in hell. I can’t believe this, God! It almost sounds like you WANT to blame them so you can have an excuse to punish them!
Damn Right I want to blame them! I want to punish them! I will throw them into hell to abide therein forever!! Muhuhuwahahaaha! Hell!! Full of flames and hooks and molten brass, thus shall we reward every doubting disbeliever!! Muhuhuwahahahahahahaha Never shall they escape there from and never shall they be reprieved! Now write!!
But, M’lord
WRIIIITTEEE!!!
Y’es my lord.
And had we willed, we would have given each soul its guidance, but the word shall remain true from me that I will fill hell with jinn and mankind all together!!!
Umm..should I write that too, M’lord
No, that’s ok, I’ll reveal that to Muhammad in my final revelation.
OK, M’lord
Topic: Evolution