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 Topic: Hijaabis.

 (Read 24845 times)
  • 12 3 ... 7 Next page « Previous thread | Next thread »
  • Hijaabis.
     OP - February 01, 2013, 10:29 PM

    Are here ex-Muslim women who wear a hijaab? If yes, does it bother you that you can't take it off?

    I myself wear a hijaab too. That's why I ask. Wish I could take it off, but it'll make things difficult for me at home.

    I have my own soul. My own spark of divine fire.
  • Hijaabi's.
     Reply #1 - February 01, 2013, 11:07 PM

    Hi Shadow.  I know how you feel.  I no longer wear it, but for about two years previous to taking off I really started to HATE it, but kept it on anyway.

    May you find a way to be able to live YOUR truth.

    Much Love


    Do not go gentle into that good night.
    Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
  • Hijaabi's.
     Reply #2 - February 01, 2013, 11:12 PM

    Are here ex-Muslim women who wear a hijaab? If yes, does it bother you that you can't take it off?

    I myself wear a hijaab too. That's why I ask. Wish I could take it off, but it'll make things difficult for me at home.

    I used to wear the hijab. Dunno if I'm exactly an ex-Muslim but at the time I thought I was. It only started bothering me when I realised that people actually define themselves and others by their headscarf, and I didn't like being defined as pious or Muslim-y or whatever when I wasn't. It's hypocritical.

    It's a very, very difficult topic to broach with one's parents. What's your family like? How long have you been wearing it, when did you start, and why?

    Self ban for Ramadan (THAT RHYMES)

    Expect me to come back a Muslim. Cool Tongue j/k we'll see..
  • Hijaabi's.
     Reply #3 - February 01, 2013, 11:16 PM

    Hi Shadow.  I know how you feel.  I no longer wear it, but for about two years previous to taking off I really started to HATE it, but kept it on anyway.

    May you find a way to be able to live YOUR truth.

    Much Love




    How did others reply to it and what made you decide to take it off after such a long time with struggling with it?

    Thank you.

    I have my own soul. My own spark of divine fire.
  • Hijaabi's.
     Reply #4 - February 01, 2013, 11:35 PM

    I begrudgingly wore the headscarf until very recently. I started disliking it when I was 13, and my dislike for it got more and more intense until I absolutely fucking hated it by the time I was 17. I didn't express my feelings towards the hijab, partly because as a Muslim I felt guilty for feeling that way, but mostly because I was too scared that my parents would force me to continue wearing it and view me differently/negatively if I broached the subject. 

    It's a bit of a long story, but after my apostasy, my mum eventually picked up on the hints and begrudgingly accepted my decision to stop wearing it, my dad was tres pissed off at first but cooled down and accepted my choice too, particularly after learning that I'm miserable and had actually been suicidal. 

    My parents really love me and deeply care about my happiness and mental health, much more than I knew or understood before the hijab incident, and I still feel guilty for thinking my dad didn't care about me and would hurt me.  I'm very lucky to have them both. 

    My mum always insists I wear it on occasion though: "you have to wear it when we go to X neighbourhood because people will stare". "you have to wear it at X's house because their daughters wear it", etc. 

    If your family is the hardcore, honour killing type I'd suggest you feign religiosity until you're out of their clutches. 

    Boggis and Bunce and Bean
    One short, one fat, one lean.
    These horrible crooks,
    so different in looks,
    were nonetheless equally mean.
  • Hijaabi's.
     Reply #5 - February 01, 2013, 11:37 PM

    ^ My mum has conditions too. But yeah, it made me realise how much she loved me that she allowed me to take it off at all with relatively little complaint.

    Self ban for Ramadan (THAT RHYMES)

    Expect me to come back a Muslim. Cool Tongue j/k we'll see..
  • Hijaabi's.
     Reply #6 - February 01, 2013, 11:44 PM

    What is this with all this external showing of religious garb?  Only priests and nuns wear religious clothing, in many ways it is hypocrisy - whited sepulchres, holier than thou.


    When you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it.


    ― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh
  • Hijaabi's.
     Reply #7 - February 02, 2013, 12:11 AM

    Speaking from an ex-Christian stand-point. Nuns wear theirs more as a tradition not as a religious obligation. It really ticks me off with pro-hijab sites compare hijabs to habits, because habits and hijabs serve different purposes. In fact some nuns don't even cover their hair depending on which region of the world you are and the Pope himself stated that the outfit should adapt. Polar opposite of the hijab that is not up for discussion, debate or even change.

    Speaking of which, if you guys were able to wear fashionable hijabs with hair showing a bit and decorations like pins or something and the community wouldn't care, would you still hate it.

    ***~Church is where bad people go to hide~***
  • Hijaabi's.
     Reply #8 - February 02, 2013, 12:22 AM

    I'm an ex-muslim and I have to wear it every fucking days. If I don't, well I might be dead or thrown outside of the house. I don't want that, because it's already tensed at home. So I have no choice to wear it every day when I'm in College, when I go to some family friends' house etc. I've been wearing it since I was 12 years old and I'm turning 19 soon. I don't know when I'll take it off, but it would be of course after I escape away from my house.... :/

    Il faut savoir grandir et aller de l'avant.
  • Hijaabi's.
     Reply #9 - February 02, 2013, 12:26 AM

    Speaking of which, if you guys were able to wear fashionable hijabs with hair showing a bit and decorations like pins or something and the community wouldn't care, would you still hate it.


    I'd still hate it. I don't want to be associated to Islam's dogmas or even Islam itself. I am a person, not a robot that obeys automatically and that has to wear something just because it is said so.

    Il faut savoir grandir et aller de l'avant.
  • Hijaabi's.
     Reply #10 - February 02, 2013, 12:29 AM

    I'm an ex-muslim and I have to wear it every fucking days. If I don't, well I might be dead or thrown outside of the house. I don't want that, because it's already tensed at home. So I have no choice to wear it every day when I'm in College, when I go to some family friends' house etc. I've been wearing it since I was 12 years old and I'm turning 19 soon. I don't know when I'll take it off, but it would be of course after I escape away from my house.... :/

     I know how it feels. Hang in there. Don't do anything that will bring you in danger. I know that it sucks to wear it against your own will and wearing a hijaab can stop you from si many things you want to do. Take care and I hope you will be free some day soon..

    I have my own soul. My own spark of divine fire.
  • Hijaabi's.
     Reply #11 - February 02, 2013, 12:31 AM

    Speaking from an ex-Christian stand-point. Nuns wear theirs more as a tradition not as a religious obligation. It really ticks me off with pro-hijab sites compare hijabs to habits, because habits and hijabs serve different purposes. In fact some nuns don't even cover their hair depending on which region of the world you are and the Pope himself stated that the outfit should adapt. Polar opposite of the hijab that is not up for discussion, debate or even change.

    Speaking of which, if you guys were able to wear fashionable hijabs with hair showing a bit and decorations like pins or something and the community wouldn't care, would you still hate it.

     I would still hate it. I don't want others to label me as a Muslim especially when I'm not one.

    I have my own soul. My own spark of divine fire.
  • Hijaabi's.
     Reply #12 - February 02, 2013, 12:44 AM

    I'm an ex-muslim and I have to wear it every fucking days. If I don't, well I might be dead or thrown outside of the house. I don't want that, because it's already tensed at home. So I have no choice to wear it every day when I'm in College, when I go to some family friends' house etc. I've been wearing it since I was 12 years old and I'm turning 19 soon. I don't know when I'll take it off, but it would be of course after I escape away from my house.... :/

     This won't make it any better for you, but I'm in the same situation. My parents will never let me leave the house sith no hijaab. I joked about it once and they got angry for making jokes like that. I'm not allowed to leave the house without a hijaab and my dad now wants me to wear an abaya. I know how crazy parents can get and what they will do when they find out, so please don't give them a reason to suspect anything.

    I have my own soul. My own spark of divine fire.
  • Hijaabi's.
     Reply #13 - February 02, 2013, 01:42 AM

    Shadow I'm on the same boat. My parents don't even care about the hijab itself, but more about their reputation and what others say. My only option is either to hurt them really badly or move away, and I've already chosen the latter. Our community is so cruel. Whenever a family has an issue with their kids, the rest of us stop talking to them, visiting them and they aren't invited back into the community, unless they openly state that they threw out their kids.

    One particular family, they were very "famous" in the community, and their eldest daughter found a bf at uni. The dad tried marrying the two other daughters off before they had any opportunity to do the same, and the sisters ran away together. It's been like 6 years, and the family was "destroyed" so they moved back to Iraq, and their daughters live somewhere in Australia and no one knows where. I wish I could contact them somehow..

    Crunchy Cd's (can I call you CC? Tongue)

    Check out the Islamic version of slut shaming:
    It's not enough that you cover from head to toe and make the effort to cover your hair; you get hated on for everything. These pics keep going around on FB, shared, liked, and there's hardly anyone to challenge it.

    Al-Alethia, I envy you so much. Congrats on the hijab-less life, can't wait to get there too.

    Quote from: ZooBear 

    • Surah Al-Fil: In an epic game of Angry Birds, Allah uses birds (that drop pebbles) to destroy an army riding elephants whose intentions were to destroy the Kaaba. No one has beaten the high score.

  • Shaming girls into hijab
     Reply #14 - February 02, 2013, 01:56 AM

    From our twitter account, where this was posted:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IXEenH4AnmU

    "Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused."
  • Shaming girls into hijab
     Reply #15 - February 02, 2013, 02:06 AM

    Can you summarise WTF she is on about? grin12

    I got halfway through and gave up.

    If you think your religion is worth killing for, please start with yourself.
  • Shaming girls into hijab
     Reply #16 - February 02, 2013, 02:09 AM

      Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy me too. I thought she was going to explain why she was talking hers off.

    We're not bad people, we're not dirty, we're not mean
    We love everybody, but we do as we please
    When the weather's fine We go fishing or go swimming in the sea
    We're always happy Life's for living, yeah, that's our philosophy
  • Shaming girls into hijab
     Reply #17 - February 02, 2013, 02:10 AM

    Can you summarise WTF she is on about? grin12

    I got halfway through and gave up.


    Just thought it was an interesting video. She's basically trying to shame and scare girls into not removing the hijab.

    "Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused."
  • Shaming girls into hijab
     Reply #18 - February 02, 2013, 02:12 AM

    Speaking from an ex-Christian stand-point. Nuns wear theirs more as a tradition not as a religious obligation. It really ticks me off with pro-hijab sites compare hijabs to habits, because habits and hijabs serve different purposes. In fact some nuns don't even cover their hair depending on which region of the world you are and the Pope himself stated that the outfit should adapt. Polar opposite of the hijab that is not up for discussion, debate or even change.

    Speaking of which, if you guys were able to wear fashionable hijabs with hair showing a bit and decorations like pins or something and the community wouldn't care, would you still hate it.

    Yup.
    Nuns are not required to fully cover themselves and the habits have evolved and become more modern.

    Sister Mary Eunice is not amused by this misinformation.

    Women are the only exploited group in history to have been idealized into powerlessness.
    ―Erica Jong
  • Shaming girls into hijab
     Reply #19 - February 02, 2013, 03:18 AM

    This won't make it any better for you, but I'm in the same situation. My parents will never let me leave the house sith no hijaab. I joked about it once and they got angry for making jokes like that. I'm not allowed to leave the house without a hijaab and my dad now wants me to wear an abaya. I know how crazy parents can get and what they will do when they find out, so please don't give them a reason to suspect anything.

    Don't worry. I've got everything covered - literally. I'm keeping as much as I can a low profile to my parents. They don't suspect a thing from me and I try to be as quiet as I can about it. Because talking about the hijab/religion or anything else will just angered them. So it's just better if I'm just a human walking around the house without a word to say. They're happier like that and I'm somehow happier like that too. Because the quiet I am, the more I am getting independent and prepared for what's coming soon. So yeah, I don't think you should joke about it. :/ Just be on your own, in your corner. Don't talk about it to any of your family members....

    Il faut savoir grandir et aller de l'avant.
  • Shaming girls into hijab
     Reply #20 - February 02, 2013, 03:21 AM

    My point with posting that video (which is bringing a lot of people here to this thread from our twitter account) is to show an example of how shaming is one big way that hijab is enforced upon girls. And that shaming is based on threats of hell and allah. Nonmuslims are often very ignorant of this fact.

    "Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused."
  • Hijaabi's.
     Reply #21 - February 02, 2013, 03:29 AM

    Nonmuslims are often very ignorant of this fact.


    Many non muslims tend to have one of these two opinions on hijaab

    1) All muslims women are forced to wear hijaab.

    2) Hijaab is just part of culture and all muslim women wear it out of choice and we should respect their faith.


    Both opinions are equally bullshit but they just can't seem to see the reality of the problem.

    It is us humans that assert purpose onto an otherwise purposeless cosmos and then claim divine inspiration 

    In my opinion a life without curiosity is not a life worth living

    My Philosophy: " Fear no one and challenge everyone "
  • Hijaabis.
     Reply #22 - February 02, 2013, 04:07 AM

    Silliness has been moved to its own thread.

    "Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused."
  • Hijaabis.
     Reply #23 - February 02, 2013, 05:06 AM

    I can echo those here who say they wouldn't want to wear any form of hijab, no matter how mild, because of how it blatantly associates the wearer with Islam. As I was working through my doubts before actually leaving Islam, this was one of the things I struggled with. Having been living in an Islamic country at the time, though, I couldn't have removed it without making serious waves at work and within my social circle.

    I was still living there when I finally did leave Islam. At that point, I didn't dare remove it. I feared it would have meant not only losing my social circle, but risking my freedom and possibly my life if it led to the people around me discovering the truth about my apostasy. And so I continued to wear it for the longest four months of my life until I was able to leave the country.

    A few weeks before I was to leave, I was contemplating how and when, if ever, I would tell my closest Muslim friends that I could no longer believe. I decided I could do a test run to see how they would react by admitting that I had thoughts of removing the hijab. Just as I suspected, they reacted with pretty much an intervention, and begged me to reconsider. One friend hastily forwarded a few links about hijab in an attempt to convince me it was obligatory. In her haste, she didn't realize one of the links she sent me actually argued against the necessity of hijab. When I pointed it out, she frantically apologized, and proceeded to fling quote after quote from Qur'an, hadith, and various scholars in an attempt to prove that hijab is required, and then bullied me into obeying with statements like, "Please remember, that any hadith is sunnah.  And we must follow the sunnah also."

    With just days left in the country, I assured them they had convinced me and I would keep the hijab. They seemed satisfied.

    On the day I finally left, I was wearing a long skirt and a thin t-shirt under a flowing black abaya with a black hijab wrapped lightly but securely around my head. I boarded the plane and sat quietly, anxiously yet nervously awaiting my stop in Amsterdam. I felt fine in my abaya and hijab. I knew by then how to wear them comfortably, so I wasn't physically bothered. But I was acutely aware of everyone who looked at me. "I'm on the plane now, I'm home free. I don't have to wear this anymore. Can they tell? Do they see the real me under these shrouds?" Because I could feel it sharply.

    As soon as I arrived in Amsterdam, I headed straight for the restroom. My palms were sweaty and my heart was racing in anticipation of what I was about to do. I was a little shaky standing in the stall as I removed each piece one at a time, folding carefully so they would take up the least amount of room in my bag. I put on the jeans and tank top I had carried with me, and then I hesitated. This was it. The end of the old me.

    I was about to have full possession of my freedom.

    Even more acutely aware of every glance, I stepped out of the restroom. I had gone in quiet, somber, and shrouded. I came out tall, fresh, alive. Had anyone noticed? It didn't matter. The air on my skin gave me goosebumps to the core and I gained confidence with every step. Before I knew it, the hijab was behind me. And I haven't looked back.

    "Those who do not move, do not notice their chains." Rosa Luxemburg

    Everything in life
    is a good experience
    or a good story.
  • Hijaabis.
     Reply #24 - February 02, 2013, 05:13 AM

    So dramatic Jila *_* I can't even being to imagine what you girls have to go through. BUT the hijab doesn't have mind-control powers like many would like to believe. Nothing can take away the freedom of the mind, which is the most important.  yes

    ***~Church is where bad people go to hide~***
  • Hijaabis.
     Reply #25 - February 02, 2013, 05:25 AM

    :') omg I loved that..

    Quote from: ZooBear 

    • Surah Al-Fil: In an epic game of Angry Birds, Allah uses birds (that drop pebbles) to destroy an army riding elephants whose intentions were to destroy the Kaaba. No one has beaten the high score.

  • Hijaabis.
     Reply #26 - February 02, 2013, 05:38 AM

    Reminds me of Berbs' story about throwing her niqab out of the taxi the day she bolted.

    If you think your religion is worth killing for, please start with yourself.
  • Hijaabis.
     Reply #27 - February 02, 2013, 05:40 AM

    Luthiel, for a second I felt I was in heaven... seriously... I'm just dying to feel this! I can't wait for the day where I could go out and feel the air on my hair. I'm excited!

    Il faut savoir grandir et aller de l'avant.
  • Hijaabis.
     Reply #28 - February 02, 2013, 05:42 AM

    Can't youi just whip it off for ten minutes or something on a windy day? Surely you're not being watched every minute.

    Or, "accidentally" have it blow off on a windy day. Shit happens.

    If you think your religion is worth killing for, please start with yourself.
  • Hijaabis.
     Reply #29 - February 02, 2013, 05:43 AM

    I know, but I want the total feeling that comes with it. I don't know...I've already taken it off 2 or 3 times in my backyard where no one could see me but I'm sure it isn't the same as taking it off, forever.

    Il faut savoir grandir et aller de l'avant.
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