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 Topic: newbie dubie

 (Read 1292 times)
  • 1« Previous thread | Next thread »
  • newbie dubie
     OP - April 20, 2012, 07:19 PM

    HEY DUDES!!

    Ive been stalking this forum for a few weeks now!

    I wasn’t SUPPOSE to make an account till exams were over but just couldn’t resist!

    So my story

    Background: a religious practising family, i have always gone to Islamic events and camps/ designed head ware/ have begun writing for a muslim magazine (lmao) and am a spiritual singer/ dhol player.

    (Im from the UK. have a pakistani background, 19 and begin uni in September! Finally!) oh im female

    But about a year ago, i read a book about achieving success, and providing motivation to succeed. There was one section about thinking about your funeral, and your achievements.

    None of mine contained religious elements whatsoever, so i began thinking what the hell am i doing with islam.

    I came to the following conclusion

    The only reason i practice is because of my family and the way i have been brought up, NOT because i genuinely believe. And the more i looked into religion the more i distanced myself from it. I was a muslim hypocrite. i realised in terms of islam- i have always been isolated- I dont fit the criteria of a muslim, on many parts free will/ the notion of God/ the purpose of lif in general are just at polar extremes! i think im too much of a hippie  dance

    the only reason i fitted in because i thought it was the "right thing to do",something i was expected to do, but thinking and knowing from your heart whats best for you are 2 different things.

    now im old enough, i have an independent mind and want to lead my life my way! no religeon whatsoever!

    So over the last 8 months i argued with myself, a period of anger and isolation and decided that i am an ex-muslim. WOAH. a term which i never even knew existed.

    It was weird but i amgradually accepting me

    BUT now id like to come out, living in the closests tough! how the hell am i going to survive ramadhan  Cry

    i wear the hijab- and last week i decided to gradually warm my parents to my identity id stop wearing it... i told them this, and got lectured and shouted at big time- the first time ive ever been in trouble! i thought this was my choice? hmm..
    so i still look muslim... ironic eh?

    my parents now think im possessed by jinn/ exam stress! ok if i am possessed- will it be ok that the force possessing me is an ex-muslim!! LMAO they cannot accept i am not religeous, therefore come up with the most irratiional cause physically possible.

    but i know deep down, comming out will mean i will lose my family. but i hate lying!

     
    P.S how do stop this website comming up in internet history?

    "the question is" said Humpty Dumpty, "which is to be the master- that`s all."
    Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking- Glass.
  • Re: newbie dubie
     Reply #1 - April 20, 2012, 07:38 PM

    Welcome totalweirdo!

    Glad you finally joined, oh, and speaking of jinn *hehe*

    Have a happy welcome jinn on me ghost

    When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.
    Helen Keller
  • Re: newbie dubie
     Reply #2 - April 20, 2012, 08:17 PM

    P.S how do stop this website comming up in internet history?


    If you are using Internet Explorer, under Tools->Internet Options->Delete Browsing History.

    For Google Chrome you click on the wrench in the top-right corner and choose "History"->Clear Browisng history

    If you are using Opera or Firefox I can check that for you too.
  • Re: newbie dubie
     Reply #3 - April 20, 2012, 08:19 PM

    Welcome! parrot

    I'm not looking forward to Ramadan either, but it's not ideal to be coming out of the closet while you're dependent on your parents. Especially if they're claiming you're possessed by a jinn. Tongue Good luck with your exams.
  • Re: newbie dubie
     Reply #4 - April 20, 2012, 08:39 PM

    Welcome hon'. You've found the right place Smiley There are sooo many of us here who can relate to what you're going through. Many members here are going through very similar things in their lives, others are further along and have managed to "come out" successfully, and gone on to build more self-directed lives for themselves. I think you'll find lots of inspiration and support here.

    Besides what Tony wrote, you can also follow the steps at this URL to clear your browser's browsing data.

    "Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused."
  • Re: newbie dubie
     Reply #5 - April 21, 2012, 09:23 AM

    thanks!!

    it`s nice to know other people are going through the same thing!
    If you are using Internet Explorer, under Tools->Internet Options->Delete Browsing History.


    thanks- that worked! thnkyu

    my taraweh`s will probably be spent on this forum! Afro

    "the question is" said Humpty Dumpty, "which is to be the master- that`s all."
    Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking- Glass.
  • Re: newbie dubie
     Reply #6 - April 21, 2012, 10:14 AM

     parrot

    Do not other browsers have what Safari has - private browsing?  It is a bit annoying because you have to log in to everything.

    And what is this "oh I am a woman"!

    Can you not take things slowly, softly?  Are you going away to uni or staying at home?

    Why not just stop wearing a veil?

    What are you studying?  What are your career plans?

    Do you know why your parents reacted as they did?  What are their real views and experiences?  Maybe your mum was also a hippy...

    Did your mum or grand mum wear miniskirts when she was a teenager?

    Quote
    1966 [when Mary Quant introduced short mini dresses and skirts that were set 6 or 7 inches above the knee] and not nationwide until 1967. The mini skirts reached their hayday in the year 1970. At that time,they were worn worldwide by the vast majority of women ,even in many Islamic, Arab, and Middle Eastern countries.In the Middle East ,women wore mini skirts as their daily apparel. From Kabul in Afghanistan to Iran and Bahrain in the Persian Gulf,Egypt,the Levant,North Africa,etc, mini skirts were the trend and it was generally acceptable for many women to wear them, even in the most religious and conservative families and societies.Among women who wore the mini skirts,were most school and university students , teachers and university staff members ,house wives,working classes,employees in governmental institutions,doctors and nurses in hospitals ,etc.This might


    http://www.ikbis.com/triplem/shot/78949

    When you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it.


    ― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh
  • Re: newbie dubie
     Reply #7 - April 21, 2012, 11:56 AM


    Hello totalweirdo, welcome to the site  Afro

    When you're the age you are, things can feel very intense and sometimes its difficult to see beyond the immediacy of how you are conditioned by your family. But as zooby alluded to, there is a way out, and that is to subsume your true feelings and not revealing them to your family for strategic, tactical reasons - to keep them off your back whilst you plan a way out through study and or employment so that you can become independent of means and get a measure of escape from their orbit. When you do that and you are slightly older, you can exercise your free conscience more openly.


    "we can smell traitors and country haters"


    God is Love.
    Love is Blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God.

  • Re: newbie dubie
     Reply #8 - April 21, 2012, 12:48 PM

    i think im too much of a hippie 

    This one's for you...
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNcXFy8QTC4
  • Re: newbie dubie
     Reply #9 - April 21, 2012, 01:13 PM

    Quote
    And what is this "oh I am a woman"!

    I don’t know.... lol Cheesy

    Quote
    Can you not take things slowly, softly? Are you going away to uni or staying at home?

    This was the plan. I wanted to take off the hijab, and gradually reveal the “ex-muslim” self (i still love my family and would always like them behind me regardless of the views of my life), but it did not go so well, as they found it hard to accept that I am becomming less religious, and seem to question the whole purpose of a muslim lifestyle. I don’t feel comfortable yet, saying I am an ex-muslim as i think it is quite an unorthodox/unacceptable thing so i would not be accepted for it.
    My parents generation were a lot like the family in East is East! But my mother had a religious conversation about 20years ago when she picked up a magazine and read an interview given by the scholar my family follow, and since then we have been brought up as devout muslims.
    I remember even as a child going to religious events, sitting for sometimes even full nights. It perhaps became tradition. But the only element of religion which i really belonged in was spirituality, i loved mostly the mathnawi by Jilal-uddin Rumi.
    However, one thing which really bothered me was that reaching the inner self is attainable for all humanity. I remix old asian music, and began looking at the lives of Pakistani prostitutes, i found it weird how they were muslims hence had “god on their side” BUT fornication is forbidden, and the only other option they would have is suicide, as it is very unlikely they would be accepted in normal society. wouldn’t they go to hell for being part of a system which religion allowed to create? and why claim the inner self can be attained when perhaps it can only be attained by a minority? i thought we were all equal Huh? why create "existence" to achieve the inner self, when really it is not achievable...

    I am currently studying at college, Begin medicine in September, moving away.
    My life plan is to work with minorities which have been created by religion.

    "the question is" said Humpty Dumpty, "which is to be the master- that`s all."
    Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking- Glass.
  • Re: newbie dubie
     Reply #10 - April 21, 2012, 01:18 PM


    Quote
    I am currently studying at college, Begin medicine in September, moving away.


    Good. Don't fight battles now that distract you. Concentrate on your exams to make sure you get your grades, do your medical studies and you'll be independent soon and have your whole life ahead of you to explore yourself and the world you want to explore.

    Think strategically. Go along with your family's Islam for the sake of keeping things placid so you can concentrate on the great escape.



    "we can smell traitors and country haters"


    God is Love.
    Love is Blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God.

  • Re: newbie dubie
     Reply #11 - April 21, 2012, 02:46 PM

    Welcome to our humble abode, totalweirdo. far away hug

    As moi mentioned, you can browse in private/incognito mode so that the browser does not save your browsing history in the first place.

    "Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so." -- Bertrand Russell

    Baloney Detection Kit
  • Re: newbie dubie
     Reply #12 - April 21, 2012, 04:41 PM

    Welcome! Good luck on becoming a doctor! It's such a good profession. Smiley

    Self ban for Ramadan (THAT RHYMES)

    Expect me to come back a Muslim. Cool Tongue j/k we'll see..
  • Re: newbie dubie
     Reply #13 - April 21, 2012, 04:47 PM

    Yo yo, welcome!!  Smiley
  • Re: newbie dubie
     Reply #14 - April 21, 2012, 08:33 PM

    thanks for the welcome!  thnkyu

    it means a lot knowing there are other ex-muslims around!!! Afro

    and you`re all so friendly! 13

    "the question is" said Humpty Dumpty, "which is to be the master- that`s all."
    Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking- Glass.
  • Re: newbie dubie
     Reply #15 - April 21, 2012, 08:51 PM

    I am typing this while my little brother is sitting next to me (also haven't come out of my closet), I'm living my apostasy right on the edge!
  • Re: newbie dubie
     Reply #16 - April 21, 2012, 09:53 PM

    lol that is living on the edge!!!  Shocked

    "the question is" said Humpty Dumpty, "which is to be the master- that`s all."
    Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking- Glass.
  • Re: newbie dubie
     Reply #17 - April 21, 2012, 09:54 PM

    Welcome totalweirdo.   parrot  Love the name.   Tongue

    "Befriend them not, Oh murtads, and give them neither parrot nor bunny."  - happymurtad's advice on trolls.
  • Re: newbie dubie
     Reply #18 - April 21, 2012, 10:14 PM

    I am typing this while my little brother is sitting next to me (also haven't come out of my closet), I'm living my apostasy right on the edge!

    I do that too Grin hell I think I once was on omegle video chat (sound off) with my mom in the room Grin
  • Re: newbie dubie
     Reply #19 - April 21, 2012, 11:45 PM

    Welcome you seem like a independent 'mind' if that makes sense. I wouldn't suggest coming out on Ramadan that's just adding fuel to the oncoming fire.

    Oh yeah and  parrot <- First Parrot giveaway  dance
  • Re: newbie dubie
     Reply #20 - April 22, 2012, 12:57 AM

    Welcome, here is your welcome jinn ghost

    Sometimes I wonder how many girls wearing hijab, are actual Muslim :0

    ***~Church is where bad people go to hide~***
  • Re: newbie dubie
     Reply #21 - April 22, 2012, 05:24 AM

    Welcome to the forum totalweirdo, have a rabbit!  bunny
  • Re: newbie dubie
     Reply #22 - April 23, 2012, 06:43 PM

    Welcome, here is your welcome jinn ghost

    Sometimes I wonder how many girls wearing hijab, are actual Muslim :0


    lol, i think hijab for most girls is just done really for the sake of it, it is now actually becomming more of a fashion accessory  Cheesy

    whats with all the jinn/parrot/rabbit giveaways! lol

     :oldie:im giving away a mosque dude! anyone???  bunny

    "the question is" said Humpty Dumpty, "which is to be the master- that`s all."
    Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking- Glass.
  • Re: newbie dubie
     Reply #23 - April 23, 2012, 06:46 PM

    Welcome, here is your welcome jinn ghost

    Sometimes I wonder how many girls wearing hijab, are actual Muslim :0


    I sent it first  001_tongue

    total weirdo  they are just lil emoticons to welcome you.
    its customary in these parts lol.

    When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.
    Helen Keller
  • Re: newbie dubie
     Reply #24 - April 23, 2012, 06:50 PM

    cool- the range of emotions inclines me to accept a new faith- emoticonism!!!  grin12 like all religeons, the ideologies of a crazy person!  yes

    "the question is" said Humpty Dumpty, "which is to be the master- that`s all."
    Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking- Glass.
  • Re: newbie dubie
     Reply #25 - April 23, 2012, 07:06 PM

    Hiya,

     glad to meet you my fellow freethinker.  Afro
  • Re: newbie dubie
     Reply #26 - April 23, 2012, 08:04 PM

    Welcome, totalweirdo! It's nice to have you join us Smiley

    "Those who do not move, do not notice their chains." Rosa Luxemburg

    Everything in life
    is a good experience
    or a good story.
  • Re: newbie dubie
     Reply #27 - April 23, 2012, 09:22 PM

    Quote
    my mother had a religious conversation


    So did mine!  On a tube train (Northern Line near Edgware) - not sure if I was in her tummy or in her arms but she had the Holy Spirit come onto her - something about a beautiful smell and never smoking again!

    Her family has two groups - the Pentecostals and the Atheists!

    I am interested generally that agnosticism and getting on with life does not feel as if it is a real option in most of the Islamic world - either heaven or hell bound.

    Quote
    My life plan is to work with minorities which have been created by religion.


    If you get into working with cults make sure you have read your sociology and anthropology, are psychologically strong and have very good support.  I find Marlene Winnell very interesting about this - she has written recently about Religious Trauma Syndrome.

    Is there an equivalent to being born again in Islam?

    When you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it.


    ― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh
  • Re: newbie dubie
     Reply #28 - April 24, 2012, 05:08 PM

    Welcome, totalweirdo.
    If you want help to hide your browsing history, I can help you, from the simple “get a second Firefox profile” to the very paranoïd “only boot on a liveCD using someone else Internet connexion”.
  • Re: newbie dubie
     Reply #29 - April 27, 2012, 07:24 PM

    So did mine!  On a tube train (Northern Line near Edgware) - not sure if I was in her tummy or in her arms but she had the Holy Spirit come onto her - something about a beautiful smell and never smoking again!

    Her family has two groups - the Pentecostals and the Atheists!

    I am interested generally that agnosticism and getting on with life does not feel as if it is a real option in most of the Islamic world - either heaven or hell bound.

    If you get into working with cults make sure you have read your sociology and anthropology, are psychologically strong and have very good support.  I find Marlene Winnell very interesting about this - she has written recently about Religious Trauma Syndrome.

    Is there an equivalent to being born again in Islam?


    cool- that`ll be a summer read!!

    im not quite sure of being reborn again. Islam has this "thinking" of belief being implanted in your heart when "god" decrees, i guess that is similiarish.

    "the question is" said Humpty Dumpty, "which is to be the master- that`s all."
    Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking- Glass.
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