Ugh, that's awful Berb! Crazy judges.
:(
I've come to the same conclusion with my X, I was so scared for so long but now feel like if he were to do a home-invasion on me, if I got half-the-chance, I would fight to the very end, not going to go down without fighting. If I get shot walking out my front door though, wouldn't have a chance.
I had 3 but my first was a miscarriage due to me being booted in the stomach repeatedly by my X. I was terrified after I had my last one that I would fall preggos again as the X wouldn't allow me to use contraception. I wanted to get an abortion after I fell pregnant with my third one as I couldn't fathom any way to get out if I had another (getting out with one child was frightening enough without trying to leave with another one). But I'm so glad I didn't get the abortion I wanted to get as my son is adorable. Fortunately I left when my son was just a baby, so he doesn't remember anything. My daughter though has some memories although I think they are fading for her. She was one traumatized kid, saw my X raping me and bashing me and she herself was the brunt of some of his violence.
He also had me bashed by some of his friends in a public place in front of my kids some 6 weeks after I left him. I thought I was going to die but it was just a warning, they basically kicked into me repeatedly all over including my head and punched me repeatedly calling me a slut for not wearing the hijab and that if I didn't go back to my X that next time they would cut my head off. They also sexually assaulted me but I didn't tell the cops about the fact that they'd sexually assaulted me as I was in so much emotional pain over the whole thing and couldn't cope with it all. I was so scared I tried to get the DVO dropped and wanted to go back to him so that I wouldn't end up dead, but child-protection told me that if I went back to him that I would loose the kids. Instead they moved us far away.
He got off on that because even though there was a DVO in place, he technically couldn't be charged because he wasn't there (he'd directed them to do it but hadn't done it himself) when I'd been bashed. It was some of his friends who did it and I wasn't able to identify them by name because I wasn't allowed to meet or talk to his friends and only knew them by face.
Western court, they haven't set up any shariah courts in the country I'm in although they certainly have tried. Thanks for the welcome jin lol
OMFG, wow, that is just horrible. My ex threatened to get his friends on me too, to throw acid in my face, but thankfully it never happened.
Mind you when I ran away, I went straight into a women's refuge and all he could do was threaten to cut my parents up if I didn't come back.............to my parents. Also tried to beat it out of my sister's husband, but my sister is tough, she just laughed and called the police on him telling him "go on I dare you, my sister might be scared to take you down, but I have no qualms about that"
I'm sorry to hear they actually managed to get you and do that to you. Fucking disgusted. It's bad enough to know that some men are happy to abuse their partners, but to know that their friends are happy to do it too is..............well I think about the words to describe it and none really convey how angry it makes me.
For me it's my daughter who was born free of it, she is my most stable child since she never saw any of it. My eldest was the most effected, he saw everything.
Now that you are free from him, your daughter is finally going to be able to move past this stuff. Do you have some kind of therapy going on for her at school or anything? art therapy or drama therapy? its been done with my kids. Just to help them express the way it all made them feel.
I find it so hard to forgive myself for staying and letting the kids get damaged like that.
Well, thankfully you're out and so are they. I wish you so much luck and strength to get yourself and your kids to where you want to be be in life.
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