Re: Joha - Mulla Nasrudin Stories
Reply #1 - December 06, 2010, 09:14 PM
One day Joha was walking in the Bazar with a large group of followrs. Whatever Joha would do his followers would immediately copy. For example: every few steps Joha would stop and shake his hands in the air, touch his feet and jump up yelling;
"Allahu! Allahu! Hu Hu Hu!"
His followers would stop and do exactly the same thing.
An old friend of Joha who was watching walked up to him and quietly asked 'what he was doing and who were all those people immitating his actions?' Joha explained that he is now a Sufi Shiekh and was teaching these people to reach enlightenment.
So the man asked;
"But Joha how do you know when your followers reach enlightenment?"
Joha replied;
"That's the easy part. Each morning I count my followers. Those who have left have reached enlightenment!"
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Joha was being paid by the week for a job that was likely to stretch over several months. He approached the owner of the property and held up the money he'd been given. "This is two hundred Dinars less than we agreed on," he said.
"I know," the owner replied. "But last week I overpaid you two hundred Dinars, and you never complained."
Joha said. "Well, I don't mind an occasional mistake. But when it gets to be a habit, I feel I have to call it to your attention."
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A bloody and ruthless conqueror once asked Joha:
"All the great Caliphs and Sultans of the Abbasids had honorific titles such as "God-Aided" (Al-Muwaffak) and "God-Guided" (Al-Rasheed) and "God-Empowered" (Al-Mu'tazz). What do you think my name should be?"
"God Forbid", replied Joha.
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One of Joha's friends wanted to borrow his donkey for a day or two. But Joha did not want to lend out his donkey and so replied that someone had already borrowed it.
Just as Joha uttered these words, his donkey started braying in his backyard. Hearing the sound, his friend gave him an accusing look, to which Joha replied;
"What? Are you willing to take a donkey's word over mine!!??"
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Joha was sitting on a river bank when someone on the other side shouted to him:
"Hey! how do I get to the other side?"
Joha stood up and shouted back;
"You're already on the other side!"
He then sat back down muttering to himself 'How stupid some people are !'
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A Doctor, a Lawyer and a rich Merchant were all in the front row of the Grand Mosque. Each was deep in devotion and repentance, crying to their Lord of their lowly and unworthy state.
"I am unworthy, I am unworthy, I am unworthy!" Each one cried.
Just then, Joha, who was poor and dressed in filthy rags, walked in and saw them.
So he too walked to the front and began crying out, "I'm unworthy,, I'm unworthy, I'm unworthy!".
The Merchant looked askance towards the the Doctor and Lawyer and said disdainfully:
"Ha! Look who thinks he's unworthy!"
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"Friends," announced Joha, "I have discovered the cause of all problems!"
Everyone was attentive.
"It is people providing 'solutions' " continued Joha,
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Once Joha's donkey died. Joha was grief stricken, was crying. He kept crying for days. On the 3rd day, the villagers got concerned. One of the said," Joha, even when your wife died last year, you did not cry so much! How can you cry this much for the loss of a donkey?"
Joha cried more and replied- "The grief of loosing my donkey is more! When my wife died, you people consoled me and found an other girl to marry. Now my donkey is dead;but, I am not seeing anyone consoling me and offering me a donkey!"
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Once the mullah in the village passed away. So, the people in the village asked Joha to be the mullah. He was asked to lead the prayers. Part of the requirement was, Joha should talk about the Quran every Friday. But, Joha had not read Quran at all!
Friday came. Joha sat with the Quran. Every one was waiting with expectation. Joha asked-"How many of you know about Quran?'. About half of them raised their hands. Joha said," The ones do not know about Quran, please ask from the ones who know about Quran!"
The following week, the people were prepared for Joha's trick. Again this week, Joha asked,"How many of you know about Quran?'. no-one in the mosque raised their hands. So Joha said"well, none of you know about Quran. What is the point in talking about something when you have no idea about it?'
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One day Joha was being a Qadi (Judge)
Two petitioners came to him. The first explained his point of view convincingly. At the end Joha said: "You are right! I agree with you!"
Then the second petitioner came and explained everything convincingly from his point of view. At the end Joha said: "You are right! I agree with you!".
Joha's wife was beside him and said: "Joha! They can't BOTH be right!"
Joha turned to his wife: "You are right also!".
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Joha was poor. One day he was standing at the market, no money in his pocket, patched up cloth, a foot wear that had seen better days. He noticed someone coming to the market on a fine horse, well dressed, expensive clothing, well fed frame. The stranger started extravagant purchases. Joha could not control his curiosity.
"who is this stranger?' asked Joha. One of the by stander replied," he is the servant of the sultan!".
Joha looked up to the sky and said," God, look at the Sultan's servant and look at your servant!"
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Joha was approaching every one with a collection box saying he was collecting money for a needy person. Most people doled out some donation. One of them stopped Joha. "Joha, tell me, who is this needy person?" he asked. Joha replied," the needy person is none other than myself!"
The following month Joha appeared with the same collection box saying he was collecting money to help some one in debt. One person who donated last time said," Joha, I know your trick! You are going to say, you are collecting money to relieve your own debt!".
Joha said," no! this is not to relieve my debt!". But, this person has borrowed money from me!".
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One day Joha borrowed a saucepan from his neighbour. He returned it a few days later with a little saucepan inside it.
"What is this?" asked his neighbour.
"Oh your saucepan gave birth to a baby while it was with me!"
"How marvelous!" said his neighbour.
The next week Joha borrowed the saucepan again but many weeks went by without him returning it. Eventually the neighbour came demanding his saucepan back.
Joha looked sad and said gravely: "I'm sorry but it died."
"What!" said his neighbour. "Saucepans cannot die!"
Joha replied: "Yet they can have babies?"
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Joha was sitting in tea shop when a friend came excitedly to speak with him. “I’m about to get married and I’m very excited. Have you ever thought of marriage yourself?”
Joha replied, “I did think of getting married. In my youth in fact I very much wanted to do so and I went in search of the PERFECT WIFE. I traveled looking for her, first to Damascus. There I met a beautiful woman who was gracious, kind, and deeply spiritual, but she had no worldly knowledge. I traveled further and went to Isfahan. There I met a woman who was both spiritual and worldly, beautiful in many ways, but we did not communicate well. Finally I went to Cairo and there after much searching I found her. She was spiritually deep, graceful, and beautiful in every respect, at home in the world and at home in the realms beyond it. I had found the perfect wife!”
His friend questioned him further, “Then why did you not marry her, Joha?”
“Alas,” said Joha as he shook his head
“She was, unfortunately, searching for the Perfect Husband.”
Topic: Joha - Mulla Nasrudin Stories